The Problem with Blogging...

The problem with blogging is that my life happens far faster than I can keep up with on my blog. I have so many back-stories that I'd love to tell you, but I just can't seem to keep up if I keep having these intentions to share them. So... I have decided that I'll blog what I can, when I can, and if a back story or two pops up, well then, so be it. :)

First, let me say that I just came back from a wonderful vacation visiting friends down South. I got to spend a substantial amount of time with Mr. & Mrs. WS, which was fabulous! Everytime I see them in person, I'm reminded of how special they are in my life. Truly the best friends in the world! *HUGS* to Mr. & Mrs. WS!!

While on vacation, I got to see almost everybody that is special to me in that neck of the woods. There were only two people that I could think of that I didn't get to see who live there...both of them men, and when I think about it, sadly, it's probably better that I didn't see them. But all in all I had a great vacation, and damn near partied my butt off almost every night. It was really good to see everyone!

I did see Sexy Man while I was there. That was a tough one, and I'm not sure I'm ready to rehash what happened. Suffice it to say, I walked away from him with the decision that I won't be maintaining our connection anymore. But if he decides he wants to keep in touch, I will allow that. He knows my number from memory, so there are no excuses on his part. If our relationship completely dissappates, it was his choice, because I'm tired of being the only one to keep in touch, and I'm tired of feeling so confused by his actions, and/or lack thereof. The one thing I do know is that I will always love him, and nothing will ever change that. But if it's time to let go, then it's up to him. I just can't do it anymore.

Last night was Ladies Night. I wasn't even going to go out last night, because I'm still recovering from my vacation, which seemed to be non-stop from the moment I left my house, to the moment I returned. The day after I got back, I had to work, and I still haven't really stopped since I got home. I'm looking forward to getting through this weekend, so I can get myself back on track.

Anyway, I did go out last night, as I said. Initially I thought I was going to end up going out alone. I got in touch with a few of my fellow partyer's, and no one seemed interested in joining me last night. Even still, I went out anyway, and I ended up being joined by R&R later in the eveing. (They are the couple we had that wild night with in the hotel room a few months back.)

I like R&R. They are a nice couple, and sex aside, I like hanging out with them. Last night seemed to go well. There were no intentions of "hooking up" - it was just meant to be a laid back, have a few drink together, kind of night. And that's all it was, from my perspective. But at one point, I got up to use the restroom, and when I returned, Ms. R grabbed her jacket & purse, stating that she was going outside, as she stormed out of the bar. I was a little confused by what had just happened. Mr. R said it was because she was ready to leave and he wasn't. Then he goes outside to check on her. When he gets back, he says she's ready to go home, so we said our goodbyes, and he left. I had sent Ms. R a text message asking her if she was okay, and she sends me one back about a half hour later telling me, "no". I still wasn't quite sure what went down while I was in the bathroom, but I decided maybe it would be best to let it rest until the morning.

So this morning I send Ms. R another text message, asking her if she was doing any better today. She sends me one back saying, "sorta". Of course, now I'm worried that maybe I did something last night to offend her in some way. Well, I managed to drag out of her what had happened, and apparently she felt like Mr. R was flirting with me just a little too much last night, paying an "extraordinary" amount of attention to my cleavage. OMG. She also said he said something while I was in the bathroom, but I couldn't manage to get that one out of her. Although, she did suggest that it had to do with me.

Mind you, when I go out, I hardly dress like a nun. She knows this. Okay, so I'll be honest and say that the shirt I had on last night was a "F* me shirt" if ever I owned one. The cleavage I put out with this shirt is kind of *va-va-va-voom!*, if you know what I mean. When I wear this particular top, I do tend to get quite a bit of attention from the men. The ones that know me know that they can comment and stare all they want, and I usually take it light-hearted and just laugh with them about their reactions. Well, Mr. R was no different. But honestly, he only commented once or twice about it, and then let it go. And the truth is that I didn't even know they were going to join me last night until I was already dressed and out the door. I know Ms. R has jealousy issues, and if I had known they would be out with me last night, I would have probably chosen a different top to wear. (Okay... maybe not. LOL!) But then again, she came out last night wearing ratty old blue jeans and a sweatshirt, no make-up, and her hair wasn't done. If she's worried about her man looking at other women, I'm thinking maybe she should turn her attention to herself then, and give her man a reason to look at her. Am I wrong?

So now I have to worry about how I dress when I go out with R&R??? I don't think so. I'm very secure in who I am, and I can't help it if she's that insecure. I won't change my ways for her. And I'm not going to deal with her insecurities about her man, either. That might sound harsh, but the woman has issues, and it's not up to me to deal with them. I have my own issues to deal with.

I guess one of the other things she got upset about was that we actually talked about sex last night. Are you kidding?! Our whole relationship started because we met on an adult website. Is it just me? I would think talking about sex would only seem natural based on how we met. But according to her, "we weren't out to hook-up last night, but Mr. R & you (meaning me, Lady Lover) can't seem to let the issue of sex rest." Wow. First, it was brought up that they were interested in getting together again. I agreed that I would be up for that. Then Mr. R and I had a brief conversation about what Ms. R is and isn't comfortable with at this point, and then the "sex" conversation was over and done with.

I don't need this. I think I'm going to have to tell R&R that we won't be hooking up anymore, at all. Her jealousy issues just go way too deep, and while she "thinks" she's ready to share and let loose, she isn't - not by any stretch of the imagination.

The good news is that Ladies Night was not a total loss. I met J.D. (she says with a big ol' grin)!

When I first got to the bar last night, I had only been there long enough to take off my coat, and get my all-you-can-drink bracelet. I hadn't even gotten my first drink yet when, as I'm walking up to the bar to get that drink, this guy asks me if I dance. I said, "Yes, but please give me a few minutes to get a drink." I think he took it as though I was blowing him off, because I got my drink, sat down to drink it and smoke a ciggy, and there I sat for most of the night. He never asked me to dance again. Although, all night long, every time I glanced in his direction, he was looking at me.

Finally it was the end of the night, the bar lights had come on, and I decided to go talk to him. So I walked up to him and whispered in his ear, "The next time you see me, try asking me to dance again." He grabs my hand, and tells me that he was going to ask me to dance again, but then my "boyfriend" showed up. Uh, boyfriend? LOL He was either talking about Mr. R, or this other guy I know that came and sat down by me for a little while after R&R left. Either way, I assured him that wasn't my boyfriend, just a friend. (Hmmmm... that would have probably been the ideal time to let him know I was married, but it just didn't cross my mind at the time, lol) Anyway, he kissed my hand and told me when he sees me again, he'll definitely ask me to dance. Yay for me! Then he pulls me to him and kisses me dead on the lips. Ooooo - Yummy!

Okay, so I don't mind saying, this guy is nice lookin'! Oh yeah! He's got that good lookin' cowboy thing going on! YeeeHawww!

After that, I went outside, where Lil' Pistol was waitin' on me to go to breakfast with her - she had just arrived from work. We're standing outside where the crowd is doing their usual after-mingling, and guess who shows up. Yep... the cowboy! :) He's directing me to come over to him, so I do, of course, and he pulls me to him and whispers in my ear, "What are you going to remember?" I looked at him a little puzzled, and he says, "You're going to remember J.D. - just remember J.D.", as he's pointing to himself. The he kissed me again. YAY! As I walked away, I told him my name, with a smile, of course. :)

Let's just say I'm looking forward to Ladies Night next week!

xoxo