Did you ever have "one of those of days"? Today has been one of those days for me. *sighs*
Let's see...it started yesterday, actually. When I got home from work, I was really tired, so I decided to lay down for a nap. That was at 4:30 in the afternoon. My nap lasted until 1:30 the this morning. I'd say 9 hours constitutes a really good nap! lol As you can probably imagine, by the time I woke up, I was rarin' to go to start my day. First things first: Coffee! Next up: Shower. Third on the morning kick-start list: Turn on the computer and see if I can actually get something accomplished today.
As you may or may not know, I am a Web-Mistress - meaning I build and maintain my own website. I have had this website for about 8 years in various venues. About 3 years ago I decided to purchase my own domain and find a good reliable web host. Once that task was accomplished, I began the major endevour of rebuilding my site from the ground up. That, my friends, is no easy task. I have painstakingly written code after code (because I'm stubborn that way, and it gives me more control if something goes wrong), designed my own graphics, not to mention the content that needed to be placed on my site. Many hours have gone into my website over the last 8 years, but it still needs a lot of work to make it a worthwhile site.
The last two years have not really been very mentally condusive to working on my site. Focus and concentration have been lacking, for various reasons. With that being said, I really haven't accomplished much on my website over the last few years. I actually considered letting my domain go, and giving up the web-mistress thing, because it has pretty much laid dormant, with only the occasional visitor sending me e-mails commenting on the fact that it is in serious need of updating.
Well, a few weeks ago I decided to surf over to my site and do a little work on it. One of the things I've really wanted to do for my site is add a blog to it. Most of the content on my site is 'read-only', and I wanted to add a way for people to interact. Before I became the head case that I have been, lol, I had actually found a blog program to add to my site. It was one of those 'ready to go, just install' programs, so I had installed it, and then spent several hours going through the code to customize it to my site. So, like I said, I surfed over to my site a few weeks ago to do a little updating. When I got to my blog, I couldn't remember my password. Eek!
Okay, so the logical step is to click that little link that says "Forgot password?" So I click the link, wait for the infamous email that sends me my password, and then get ready to get my password and move on. But wouldn't you know it? There's a glitch with the program I installed, and all I get in the e-mail is a bunch of garbled code. So, my goal for today was go into my SQL database and see if I can retrieve my password. This is the start of a bad day.
This morning, as I'm searching through my database files, I realize that I won't be able to retrieve my password that way either. This leads me to having to delete my database files and the program all together if I ever want to use that blog. So, the next logical step is save all the files that I have worked on previously, to try to save myself some time. I deleted the files afterwards, and went to reinstall an updated version of the program, so I wouldn't have password issues in the future. I was really bummed at having to delete the old version. It looked damn good, if I do say so myself. :) But sometimes, ya just gotta do what ya just gotta do.
After installing the newer version, and finding that the programmers had made a lot of improvements, I went into the code files to start fixing the blog up to match my site again. I'm thinking to myself, this shouldn't take very long, since I saved all the important code from the previous version, right? Yeah, right. They've made so many changes to the program, that I literally have to start all over with the code. *sighs* But at least I have a password now. I worked on that code from 2:30 am to 9:30 am today. 7 gruelling hours of my head spinning, while I tried to figure out what was what, and I still didn't accomplish much.
Then, at 9:30 this morning, I get a call from Hubby asking me if I want to go to breakfast downtown. I was starving and really could use the break, so I said yes. He came home and we headed downtown.
After breakfast, I needed to stop my Penny's to pick up a pair of clogs I had ordered. (Yes, I finally found my clogs! Yay! LoL) But when I get to the catalog department to pick them up, the lady tells me in a not so friendly tone that the delivery truck broke down and they won't be here until tomorrow. I was a little irritated at her attitude, but I walked away and said I'd be back tomorrow.
Then I tell Hubby that I really need to get my nails done, so we head over to the nail place, and Hubby drops me off. I go into the nail place, only to be told, and I quote: "You need to come back. I can't do you right now." That was it. No explanation beyond that. That irritated me a little more, especially since I'm a very loyal customer. And I tip good, damn it. At least ask me if I "mind" coming back later, or something a little more friendly. Don't just tell me to leave.
Okay, so now I'm getting a bit grumpy. I called Hubby to come back and pick me up. Then I tell him that I really want my nails done, and there's this place I heard about. "Let's try there", I say. So like a good Hubby, he takes me over there. While I'm in there, I tell the Lady what I want. I'm really in need of a new set, so I say that, and she looks at me cross-eyed and tells me they don't do that there. All they do is fills, and they never put on "new sets". Then she throws at me that she's been in the industry for 23 years. Don't pull rank on my ass like that. I've been in the industry for 25, and I told her so. Then I pointed out that sometimes it is necessary to take off the old acrylic and apply new, and that is what I wanted done. She starts arguing with me that all I need is a fill. Does this woman get it? I don't want a frickin' fill! I want a new set! Then I ask her how much. She tells me their prices and I about fell to the floor! Needless to say, I walked out of there mumbling under my breath, got into the car and told Hubby to take me home.
By this time, I'm tired and pissed off. It's about 1:00 in the afternoon, so I had been up for almost twelve hours. I was ready for another nap, but I had one more thing I needed to do yet, and that was to call Apple Computers about my iPod. My iPod had been glitching really bad lately.I knew something was wrong with the hard drive, so I called Apple to see what they recommended. I explain to the Apple representative about the issues I've been experiencing with my iPod, and without giving it much thought, in my opinion, the rep tells me, "It sounds like your hard drive has crashed. If you would like us to fix it, that will be $249.00." OMG! Are you kidding me??? That's the price of a new iPod! And the only reason I know that is because we just bought one for Hubby last week! I can neither afford to buy another iPod right now, nor pay to have this one fixed, which at this point seems completely senseless, since the new ones are so much more advanced. The only thought going through my mind at this point, is "screw this shit. I'm going to take a nap." So that's what I did. I laid down and took a 3 hour nap.
When I got up from my nap, my iPod odyssey continued, as I un-installed and reinstalled my iPod & iTunes programs. Then tried, to no avail, to restore my iPod to factory settings, but my iPod program keeps telling me something about it being the wrong version or some shit.
Well, there ya have it. That's been my day. In the end, I got nothing accomplished, except for to bitch here in this blog, lol. That being said, I'm done for the day, and now I'm going to veg out in front of the computer playing solitaire, until I feel another "nap" coming on, LOL!
xoxo
Tuesday, November 13, 2007
Thursday, November 08, 2007
A New Life Ahead
Hubby and I had a talk last night. It seems he has made the decision to retire from the military next year.
I am not sure how I feel about his decision. On one hand, I want this part of our life over with. I'm tired of living with the military b.s., and we already know how much I hate living where we are. On the other hand, I'm scared of what the future might hold. We have worked long and hard to get to where we are financially, and my worst nightmare is that we will end up moving backwards instead forward financially.
There are so many things to consider in making this decision - most of which have to do with money. I am a little bothered by the fact that Hubby is making this decision without considering how I feel about it, or the financial impact it could have on us. He is so terribly miserable, both with his job, and with the military in general. While I can completely understand and sympathize with where he's coming from in that respect, I don't think he realizes the simple fact that a job is a job. And the only difference he faces by retiring is that he'll go from working active duty military, to working for the military as a civilian. Either way, he'll still be working for the military. As for the difference in paychecks, it's hard to say right now if it will make that much difference financially. When you add that we will have to start paying for our medical insurance, and we will no longer have free housing or a housing allowance, those are big chunks of money that will have to come from somewhere. Even though he'll be receiving a retirement check, that check won't cover the funds necessary to put a roof over our head and pay for our health insurance. Not to mention the bills.
Then there is the upside to all this, and that is that I will be able to move back to Texas! That's the exciting part, but I have to look at the practical side of all this too, and that, of course, is the money.
I'm a little stressed about all this right now. With this shoulder thing I've been dealing with, and then Hubby springing his intentions to retire on me, I'm feeling somewhat overwhelmed.
Over the next month we will be attending four retirement information meetings. I only hope, in the end, Hubby will be able to put aside his misery long enough to make a practical and responsible decision about getting out.
I'm sure this isn't the last you'll be reading about this. But for now, I'm heading to bed. My head hurts from all of this.
xoxo
I am not sure how I feel about his decision. On one hand, I want this part of our life over with. I'm tired of living with the military b.s., and we already know how much I hate living where we are. On the other hand, I'm scared of what the future might hold. We have worked long and hard to get to where we are financially, and my worst nightmare is that we will end up moving backwards instead forward financially.
There are so many things to consider in making this decision - most of which have to do with money. I am a little bothered by the fact that Hubby is making this decision without considering how I feel about it, or the financial impact it could have on us. He is so terribly miserable, both with his job, and with the military in general. While I can completely understand and sympathize with where he's coming from in that respect, I don't think he realizes the simple fact that a job is a job. And the only difference he faces by retiring is that he'll go from working active duty military, to working for the military as a civilian. Either way, he'll still be working for the military. As for the difference in paychecks, it's hard to say right now if it will make that much difference financially. When you add that we will have to start paying for our medical insurance, and we will no longer have free housing or a housing allowance, those are big chunks of money that will have to come from somewhere. Even though he'll be receiving a retirement check, that check won't cover the funds necessary to put a roof over our head and pay for our health insurance. Not to mention the bills.
Then there is the upside to all this, and that is that I will be able to move back to Texas! That's the exciting part, but I have to look at the practical side of all this too, and that, of course, is the money.
I'm a little stressed about all this right now. With this shoulder thing I've been dealing with, and then Hubby springing his intentions to retire on me, I'm feeling somewhat overwhelmed.
Over the next month we will be attending four retirement information meetings. I only hope, in the end, Hubby will be able to put aside his misery long enough to make a practical and responsible decision about getting out.
I'm sure this isn't the last you'll be reading about this. But for now, I'm heading to bed. My head hurts from all of this.
xoxo
Monday, November 05, 2007
La-La Land
Holy crap! It amazes me how such a little pill can have such a big impact!
Today I went for my MRI retake. Only this time I took one of those little "happy pills" the doc gave me. I am "happy" to report that I made it through the MRI - YAY! I still had issues, like this nawing feeling like I wanted out of there really bad, but then I really didn't care at the same time. Then I proceeded to come home and sleep for 5 hours. That little pill definitely did its job. It kind of makes you feel like you're drunk, lol. I had to take a practice pill last night, because the doc wanted me to see how I did on it. That was kind of fun, actually. How often does a doctor tell you to just take one to test your reaction? Hubby was laughin' his ass off at me! I do have to say, I don't think I would want to take that little white pill unless I really have to.
Personally, I'm not a pill person. I hate taking meds if I can really avoid it. Hubby calls me "the pharmacy" because I have so many prescriptions, and I always end up having lots of pills left that go to waste. I don't like taking anything unless I really have to. I try telling the doctors that, but for some reason they always give me more than I need. Ah well. In this particular case it was necessary, but I'm really glad its over. Hopefully the end result, the test results, will show no major issues with my shoulder. Then I can be done with this issue and move on.
xoxo
Today I went for my MRI retake. Only this time I took one of those little "happy pills" the doc gave me. I am "happy" to report that I made it through the MRI - YAY! I still had issues, like this nawing feeling like I wanted out of there really bad, but then I really didn't care at the same time. Then I proceeded to come home and sleep for 5 hours. That little pill definitely did its job. It kind of makes you feel like you're drunk, lol. I had to take a practice pill last night, because the doc wanted me to see how I did on it. That was kind of fun, actually. How often does a doctor tell you to just take one to test your reaction? Hubby was laughin' his ass off at me! I do have to say, I don't think I would want to take that little white pill unless I really have to.
Personally, I'm not a pill person. I hate taking meds if I can really avoid it. Hubby calls me "the pharmacy" because I have so many prescriptions, and I always end up having lots of pills left that go to waste. I don't like taking anything unless I really have to. I try telling the doctors that, but for some reason they always give me more than I need. Ah well. In this particular case it was necessary, but I'm really glad its over. Hopefully the end result, the test results, will show no major issues with my shoulder. Then I can be done with this issue and move on.
xoxo
Friday, November 02, 2007
Claustrophobia
I can't help wondering why shit always happens to me. *sighs* After last years fiasco of health issues and four surgeries, I was finally starting to enjoy some good health for a change. Then I have to do some stupid aerobics tricks in my sleep and screw up my shoulder again. Honest to goodness, I don't know what I did, but my shoulder still hurts like hell. I went to my primary doctor on Monday for a follow-up appointment about it, and his conclusion is that he thinks it might be a bad case of tendinitis. I'm really hoping he's right, because the thought of yet another shoulder surgery doesn't make me a happy camper. But then he says, just to be on the safe side, why don't we do an MRI on it. Swell. Then he proceeds to give me a steroid/pain killer combo shot in my shoulder, which I might add HURT LIKE SHIT, then he tells me again he really thinks it's just tendinitis.
So...yesterday I went for the MRI on my shoulder. This isn't the first time I have had an MRI. I've actually had four of them. So I'm thinking to myself, '15 minutes stuck in this tube and then it will be over with. I should be a pro at them by now, right?' I wish.
The Tech preps me for the MRI, and no sooner am I slid into the "tunnel" when, without warning, I start feeling like I can't breathe and it feels like my whole world is caving in on me. Holy shit! I had a freakin' panic attack! That's an experience I wouldn't wish on anybody! Of course, the Tech pulled me out of the machine, pronto, and I sit up, white as a ghost, and I tell the Tech to just give me a few minutes to get my bearings and catch my breath. After about 5 minutes I start to lay back down so he can prep me again, and I started having another panic attack!
I have always been a little claustrophobic. For instance, when I go to bed at night, I can't sleep face to face with Hubby. No big deal, I just face the other way. The MRI machine has previously bothered me a little bit because it's such an enclosed space, but never to this degree. Damn! Just thinking about it right now has my heart racing again. I've been kind of a basket case over this since yesterday. I had a really hard time sleeping last night because of thoughts of that damn tunnel and the feeling like I can't breathe.
Well, the end result is that I didn't have the MRI done yesterday because of two panic attacks. The Tech suggested I talk to my Dr., which I did, and now I am rescheduled for another MRI on Monday. Only this time I will be drugged with Xanax. (Not sure of the spelling, lol) Basically, it's an anti-anxiety med that's supposed to relax me to the point that I won't care.
I feel like such a ninny! What's wrong with me that I can't handle 15 minutes in an MRI machine??? But when it comes down to it, I'm really not looking forward to Monday, and I pray with all I have that the drug they're giving me will knock my ass out completely. Otherwise, I don't think I can go through with it. That sounds so damn silly! But everytime I think about it, I feel like I can't breathe. This is just crazy.
Okay, I need to think about something else...let's see...oh! Halloween! *grins* Happy belated Halloween to everyone! Hubby and I got dressed up for the festivities and headed to my favorite local watering hole. Getting Hubby to dress up and go out with me that night was like pulling teeth, but I pushed the issue with him this year because it's one of my favorite times of year. But then, don't you know, when we got there Hubby sat down in his seat, and the only time he moved was when I made him slow dance with me to one song. Aside from that, Hubby sat in the same seat for 4 hours. The man didn't even get up to go to the bathroom while we were there. Just sitting there all night drives me a little bonkers, so I would get up every once in a while and be a social butterfly. But then I'd feel bad that Hubby was sitting alone, so I'd return to sit with him for a little bit more. I can't really say it was the best Halloween in my history, but it beats last year. Last year we carved a pumpkin, went to WalMart, then went home and went to bed early.
In case you haven't figured it out, Hubby really isn't much of a party animal. That's pretty much why I go out alone. It does bum me out sometimes, but then again, I'd rather go alone than feel guilty for socializing all night and leaving him sitting there alone.
Okay, the vicodin is kicking in and I have to work in the morning. Sweet Dreams!
xoxo
So...yesterday I went for the MRI on my shoulder. This isn't the first time I have had an MRI. I've actually had four of them. So I'm thinking to myself, '15 minutes stuck in this tube and then it will be over with. I should be a pro at them by now, right?' I wish.
The Tech preps me for the MRI, and no sooner am I slid into the "tunnel" when, without warning, I start feeling like I can't breathe and it feels like my whole world is caving in on me. Holy shit! I had a freakin' panic attack! That's an experience I wouldn't wish on anybody! Of course, the Tech pulled me out of the machine, pronto, and I sit up, white as a ghost, and I tell the Tech to just give me a few minutes to get my bearings and catch my breath. After about 5 minutes I start to lay back down so he can prep me again, and I started having another panic attack!
I have always been a little claustrophobic. For instance, when I go to bed at night, I can't sleep face to face with Hubby. No big deal, I just face the other way. The MRI machine has previously bothered me a little bit because it's such an enclosed space, but never to this degree. Damn! Just thinking about it right now has my heart racing again. I've been kind of a basket case over this since yesterday. I had a really hard time sleeping last night because of thoughts of that damn tunnel and the feeling like I can't breathe.
Well, the end result is that I didn't have the MRI done yesterday because of two panic attacks. The Tech suggested I talk to my Dr., which I did, and now I am rescheduled for another MRI on Monday. Only this time I will be drugged with Xanax. (Not sure of the spelling, lol) Basically, it's an anti-anxiety med that's supposed to relax me to the point that I won't care.
I feel like such a ninny! What's wrong with me that I can't handle 15 minutes in an MRI machine??? But when it comes down to it, I'm really not looking forward to Monday, and I pray with all I have that the drug they're giving me will knock my ass out completely. Otherwise, I don't think I can go through with it. That sounds so damn silly! But everytime I think about it, I feel like I can't breathe. This is just crazy.
Okay, I need to think about something else...let's see...oh! Halloween! *grins* Happy belated Halloween to everyone! Hubby and I got dressed up for the festivities and headed to my favorite local watering hole. Getting Hubby to dress up and go out with me that night was like pulling teeth, but I pushed the issue with him this year because it's one of my favorite times of year. But then, don't you know, when we got there Hubby sat down in his seat, and the only time he moved was when I made him slow dance with me to one song. Aside from that, Hubby sat in the same seat for 4 hours. The man didn't even get up to go to the bathroom while we were there. Just sitting there all night drives me a little bonkers, so I would get up every once in a while and be a social butterfly. But then I'd feel bad that Hubby was sitting alone, so I'd return to sit with him for a little bit more. I can't really say it was the best Halloween in my history, but it beats last year. Last year we carved a pumpkin, went to WalMart, then went home and went to bed early.
In case you haven't figured it out, Hubby really isn't much of a party animal. That's pretty much why I go out alone. It does bum me out sometimes, but then again, I'd rather go alone than feel guilty for socializing all night and leaving him sitting there alone.
Okay, the vicodin is kicking in and I have to work in the morning. Sweet Dreams!
xoxo
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