The last few days have been interesting, and tonight it got even more so.
Hubby finally came back from his 6 week business trip on Friday night. Since he has been back, he’s been very attentive. The night he came home, we stayed up until 3 a.m. talking. Mostly I listened to him while he told me all about the trip. When he was finished talking, he started massaging and caressing me, which felt great. I really needed some attention. Last week was a rough week because of the surgery and having to deal with it without him being here, not to mention the fact that he’d been gone for six weeks, so it was nice to have some intimate time with him. We actually had sex that night, even as sore as I still am from the surgery. We couldn’t actually have intercourse, but there’s lots of ways to have sex without actual penetration, so we used our imaginations and managed to satisfy each other in other ways. I paid for it the next day, being even more sore and uncomfortable, but it was worth it.
I feel so bad for Hubby right now. We haven’t had intercourse in almost 4 months because of these surgeries, and he has been so patient. When he got home from his trip Friday night, as soon as he started touching me he got the hard-on from hell. I really shouldn’t be having any kind of sex right now on a physical level on my end, particularly no vaginal stimulation what-so-ever, but when I saw how hard he was, I knew that he needed some attention too. It is amazing what the human body can endure, especially when you’re horny, lol! I was hurtin’ pretty bad still on Friday, but as soon as he started rubbing my clit, the horny-mones kicked in, and suddenly the pain was obsolete, at least for the time being. Anyway, then I helped him to get off, and we fell asleep in each other’s arms. We don’t tend to do that too often anymore. With a king size bed, we barely even know we’re sleeping together most of the time, so to actually physically fall asleep touching was nice.
Then I worked over the weekend. Work sucked as usual. But in the evenings, Hubby was once again very attentive. Hugging me, holding me, kissing me – I don’t know what happened to him on that trip to make him so attentive, but it’s nice to feel the physical connection with him. I think it may have to do with an e-mail I sent him while he was gone, laying out how miserable I have been, and why I want to go back to Texas. Honestly, I think he may be realizing how close he is coming to losing me. But if that’s what it takes to get our marriage heading in the right direction, then so be it.
Then Hubby went back to work on Monday (yesterday) and as usual, he came home from work in a piss-poor mood. He hates this place as much as I do, but given the fact that he’s military, he’s stuck here unless he can manage to get orders out of this place. Well, he comes home from work and starts unloading his day on me, which I’m pretty much used to. I feel bad for him about his work related issues too. Let’s just say that the military has not been a positive experience for him, constantly making him feel like he’s being shit on. Anyway, he comes home from work yesterday, tired and disgruntled. We went out to eat as usual, and when we get home he decides to hide out in his office for the rest of the night and chill.
This is the way my life has been for the last year and half. I spend all day alone, and then I get to have dinner with Hubby, and spend the rest of my night trying to keep myself occupied. So last night I decided I wasn’t going to occupy myself by sitting at home. I decided to go out with the girls.
It was supposed to be karaoke at the country bar last night, so we headed over there. But once again, that didn’t work out. Instead, they had a live band, which wasn’t that great. These live bands at the country bar seem to be a real hit or miss kind of thing. Some of the bands that have been there over the last 6 weeks have been pretty good, while others really could use some more practice time.
So, it was me, Beauty, and my girlfriend from work (who we will now call “Big T”, because she’s got huge boobs, lol). Big T was designated driver last night, and she was on her period, so she was being really bitchy about everything, which put a bit of a damper on the mood last night. I wanted to serve her a big pitcher of “shut the hell up”, but instead, I ordered a few drinks to drown her out, lol! For the most part the night was fairly low key. Beauty and I sucked down a few drinks and determined that wasn’t going to be enough, so we started ordering shots too. I did a few shots of the Hot 100 again, and it wasn’t long after that the mood started to lighten up. Imagine that. Thank the Gods for alcohol! LOL
Around 11:00 last night the bar got pretty quiet. Most of the people that had been there started to clear out, until there were maybe 10 to 15 of us left. At that point, we all congregated around the bar, and things got a little livelier. By this time I was buzzin’ pretty good too, and as is par for the course, I started to get horny. What is it about alcohol that makes me so horny? Geeezzz! If you have ever heard the song “Tequila Makes Her Clothes Fall Off”, by Joe Nichols, that’s me to a “t”! Well, now I’m buzzing and horny, and I spy this guy sitting at the bar who I have spoken to before, but really didn’t know. He’s a friend of Beauty’s. So I go over and start talking to him. He’s a biker, and so I started the conversation by talking about bikes.
When I’m drinking and horny, it doesn’t take long before I start hitting flirt mode, so I started flirting with this guy – in a very subtle sort of way – then Beauty comes over and starts hanging all over him. I backed off a little, because I don’t want to infringe on Beauty’s territory, but then he and I start talking about tattoos. If you have a tattoo, when you start talking about them with others, it usually becomes a game of show-and-tell, so he and I started showing our tattoos to each other. I have one on my lower back that is rather large, and in order to show it, I have to pull my pants down almost to the crack of my ass. But when I’m drunk, this is never an issue, because I love showing off that particular tattoo.
It has been my experience that when most men see the tattoo on my lower back, they usually like it, often commenting on the size, and for some reason they always want to touch it. It’s sexy, and if I have been drinking, it’s a turn-on to feel a man’s hand on that part of my body. Just the way they like to run their hand over it – yummy!
Anyway, so there we were talking about the tattoos, and when I showed this guy my tattoo on my lower back, suddenly I had his full attention. I think it pissed Beauty off, but hey, I was only talking to the guy. hehe Not that I’m trying to “steal” him from her, but she is married too, and while she’s cute, she flirts in a “cute” sort of way that always leads to “no, sorry, can’t have sex with you”, which in my opinion is just a tease. No one likes to be teased that way. Plus, she’s just plain, and comes off as little miss innocent. Not that that is a bad thing – some guys like the innocent “Plain Jane’s”, but it was obvious from this guys attention to me that “cute” just wasn’t doing the trick for him that night.
Now it’s 1:00 in the morning, and the bar lights come on. I hate those damn bar lights! They’re always ruining my fun! *pouts* We all head outside to go home. While we are out there, standing around still talking, I see this guy I’ve been flirting with looking at my cleavage. I couldn’t resist giving him a little more to look at, so the next button on my shirt managed to undo itself. Oops! *grins* Then I hear, “Oh my God!”, and I look up at him and he’s staring at my boobs with this look on his face that says, “Can I please have one of those?”
Okay, so now I’m being the tease because I can’t have intercourse, but I’m all for explaining why I can’t and finding a way to work around that. Just when I start to tell him the situation, Big T grabs my arm and starts dragging me to her car. Then Biker Dude grabs my other arm and says I’m riding home with him. (I found out he lives down the street from me, so it would have been convenient for him to give me a ride home.) Then Beauty grabs Biker Dude and starts pulling him to let go of me. Damn! I just want to have a little fun, is that so wrong?
Well, Big T puts me in the car, and we’re sitting there waiting for Beauty, who is still outside talking to Biker Dude. Finally, she gets in the car and tells us that he wants to come over to her house and have sex. I don’t know what she was saying to him while they were outside, but she told him he couldn’t come over. (Big surprise there) I don’t know about you, but I kind of got the impression that maybe she told him about my surgery, and he was looking for a way to get laid one way or the other, so he went for a chance with Beauty. Of course, I wasn’t going to say that to her, but I have a feeling that’s what happened. Little does she know that when I’m able to have sex again, I have a feeling Biker Dude and I will probably hook-up, unlike his odds with her.
When I got home last night, I was most definitely ready for some sexual attention. I woke Hubby up and told him about my night, and he immediately went to work pleasuring me. Here’s the interesting part – for the very first time since Hubby and I have been together, I got to have an orgasm without him expecting one in return. This is a major big deal to me, and I was totally amazed, and commented on that fact. He just laughed, told me he loved me, and then we went to sleep. But seriously, I’m like, WOW – did that really happen??
I’m not finished telling you about my “turning tides” moments, but right now I have to head to the airport to pick up Son, so I need to run. I haven’t seen him in over 4 months, and I’m really looking forward to spending the holidays with him. I will finish sharing this tale as soon as I can.
Tuesday, December 19, 2006
Friday, December 15, 2006
Margaritas & My Sexy Man - part 6
Hubby was supposed to be home this afternoon, but his flight was cancelled due to fog. He managed to get another flight out, but he won’t be here until almost midnight, so while I’m waiting for him to get home I thought I’d continue my Sexy Man saga…
After my last encounter with Sexy Man, I really didn’t think I would hear from him again. I thought about him several times over the course of the next week, and wondered if he would be coming out that weekend. I wasn’t about to call him though. I had decided if he wanted to see me again, the next move would have to be up to him. Well, the week came and went, and I didn’t hear from him. I went out that weekend as usual, but he was nowhere to be seen. I concluded that he was no longer interested, and I wasn’t about to go chasing after him, so I let it go. I will admit I was very disappointed, but I chalked it up to a one night stand that took two full weeks to play out from beginning to end.
When Monday rolls around again, I get back to living my life and trying to forget about Sexy Man. Then on Monday afternoon, my cell phone rings, and lo and behold it’s him wanting to know what I’m doing tomorrow afternoon around lunchtime. He wants to take me to lunch. Once again, I am surprised, albeit pleasantly so. I agree to meet him the next day.
The following day I met Sexy Man at a little bar & grill kind of place that is near our watering hole. We met out in the parking lot, and when we got inside, he chose a place to sit that was in a cozy little corner where we would have some privacy. It was good to see him again. Even better was getting a chance to see him in the daylight, lol – up to this point, we had only ever gotten together at night.
For the next two hours, Sexy Man and I sat there talking and laughing, and just enjoying our time together. We never discussed our last evening out. It was almost like it never happened. And except for while we were eating, we actually held hands across the table almost the entire time we were together. Then he tells me that he really enjoys spending time with me, and asks me if we might do it again soon. This felt wonderful to me. There was nothing sexual about it. It was just two people spending time together, getting to know one another, and I really enjoyed it, so I told him that I would enjoy getting together with him again like this.
When it was time to leave, we are standing out in the parking lot saying goodbye, and Sexy Man asks if I would mind if we sit in my car for a few minutes together before we go. I had no problem with it, so we get into the car and continue talking for a few more minutes, when he leans over and kisses me. Suddenly we are having an afternoon make-out session in my car. Very yummy!
It is fairly clear to me at this point that Sexy Man and I have a strong chemistry together. Not only do we get along really well and have a lot of common interests, but when it comes down to it, we have a hard time keeping our hands and lips off of each other, with kissing fast becoming our favorite past-time.
Finally, Sexy Man says he needs to get home, and he gets out of the car with the promise that he will call me again soon. We say goodbye, and I go home with another one of those stupid smiles on my face.
The very next day, sometime around mid-morning, I get another call from Sexy Man wanting to know what I had planned for the day. I told him I had just gotten out of the shower and really hadn’t made any plans yet. He asks me if I’m alone, and wants to know if he can stop by for a few minutes. Once again pleasantly surprised, I said sure, but that I wasn’t dressed yet, and to please give me a few minutes to dry my hair and at least throw my make-up on. He says no problem, and twenty minutes later he’s knocking on my door.
In those twenty minutes, I had managed to dry my hair and put my make-up on, but I hadn’t gotten dressed yet. When he knocked on the door I was still in my robe. After the lunch we shared the day before, and the excitement of him coming over to the house that day, I started to get a little more than horny. I decided to skip scrambling to get into my clothes before opening the door, thinking I would surprise him and open the door with just my robe on. Now, just to give you an idea, this was no pink fuzzy bath robe. It was an expensive silky short robe, so it was ideal for this particular moment in time.
As I opened the door to let him in, my robe fell open, giving him a full view of me standing there in all my glory. With a look of surprise, and a smile on his face, he grabbed me and started kissing me on the spot. We stood there for a few minutes kissing, and then I took him by the hand and led him to my bedroom. I was about to get my second chance to make things right after that last night we were together.
When we got into my bedroom, he wrapped his arms around me and started kissing me again. We just stood there in the bedroom doorway kissing, and I started to shake. I don’t know if I was nervous, or cold because of my lack of clothing, or if I was just that excited, but I couldn’t help myself. Then I noticed that he was shaking too. We laughed at this together, and concluded that it was okay, and we hugged each other. For what seemed like the longest time, Sexy Man just held me as we stood there. Then I looked up at him, and started kissing him again, while at the same time, I began to undress him. Finally, he slid my robe off, and we lay down on the bed.
For the next three hours, Sexy Man and I proceeded to truly enjoy the most amazing, intimate, sexy, hot and fantastic sex I have ever experienced. It was slow and passionate, hot and sweaty, with every moment filled with pleasure. There were moments where he had me shaking so bad from the pleasure of it that I thought I was going to pass out. The orgasms I had came on wave after wave, and it seemed like they went on forever. We couldn’t seem to get enough of each other. If he wasn’t going down on me, I was going down on him. For the longest time it was nothing but oral sex while we explored every single inch of each other’s bodies. I loved every minute of it!
Sexy Man is the first man I have ever been with that got as much pleasure from oral sex as I do. Most men I have been with not only don’t have the patience for long oral sex sessions, but they can rarely hold out so long before they simply can’t wait any longer to get their rocks off. With Sexy Man, I don’t know how he does it. He was hard as a rock, yet he held off for the longest time before we actually had intercourse that day. And even after all the pleasure I had received from him up to that point, he continued go slow and work me into yet another orgasm before he allowed himself the pleasure of his own.
When I finally slid my hot wet juices down on him, just the moan that came out of his mouth almost made me orgasm again. And the sensation of actually feeling him fill me with his rock hard rod took me over the top. Within minutes, I had yet another orgasm. Finally, I was spent, and he knew it. Then he laid me on my back and went to town until he finally shot his load inside me, which was a treat all its own. I can’t really explain it. I was so sensitive from the whole ordeal that I felt every delicious pulsing drop fill me, as it oozed out and dripped down my ass.
Afterwards, we lay there in silence, exhausted in a wonderful sort of way. Eventually Sexy Man said he needed to get going, so he got up and got dressed. As I walked him to the door, he gave me another kiss and that sexy man smile of his and we said our goodbyes. After he left, again with the promise that he would call me soon, I decided to lay down and I fell asleep. It was the best nap I’ve ever had! lol And for the next few days, I walked around with a pleasurable pain between my legs that reminded me of our afternoon delight.
I do believe we both made up for our previous sexual encounter.
To be continued…
After my last encounter with Sexy Man, I really didn’t think I would hear from him again. I thought about him several times over the course of the next week, and wondered if he would be coming out that weekend. I wasn’t about to call him though. I had decided if he wanted to see me again, the next move would have to be up to him. Well, the week came and went, and I didn’t hear from him. I went out that weekend as usual, but he was nowhere to be seen. I concluded that he was no longer interested, and I wasn’t about to go chasing after him, so I let it go. I will admit I was very disappointed, but I chalked it up to a one night stand that took two full weeks to play out from beginning to end.
When Monday rolls around again, I get back to living my life and trying to forget about Sexy Man. Then on Monday afternoon, my cell phone rings, and lo and behold it’s him wanting to know what I’m doing tomorrow afternoon around lunchtime. He wants to take me to lunch. Once again, I am surprised, albeit pleasantly so. I agree to meet him the next day.
The following day I met Sexy Man at a little bar & grill kind of place that is near our watering hole. We met out in the parking lot, and when we got inside, he chose a place to sit that was in a cozy little corner where we would have some privacy. It was good to see him again. Even better was getting a chance to see him in the daylight, lol – up to this point, we had only ever gotten together at night.
For the next two hours, Sexy Man and I sat there talking and laughing, and just enjoying our time together. We never discussed our last evening out. It was almost like it never happened. And except for while we were eating, we actually held hands across the table almost the entire time we were together. Then he tells me that he really enjoys spending time with me, and asks me if we might do it again soon. This felt wonderful to me. There was nothing sexual about it. It was just two people spending time together, getting to know one another, and I really enjoyed it, so I told him that I would enjoy getting together with him again like this.
When it was time to leave, we are standing out in the parking lot saying goodbye, and Sexy Man asks if I would mind if we sit in my car for a few minutes together before we go. I had no problem with it, so we get into the car and continue talking for a few more minutes, when he leans over and kisses me. Suddenly we are having an afternoon make-out session in my car. Very yummy!
It is fairly clear to me at this point that Sexy Man and I have a strong chemistry together. Not only do we get along really well and have a lot of common interests, but when it comes down to it, we have a hard time keeping our hands and lips off of each other, with kissing fast becoming our favorite past-time.
Finally, Sexy Man says he needs to get home, and he gets out of the car with the promise that he will call me again soon. We say goodbye, and I go home with another one of those stupid smiles on my face.
The very next day, sometime around mid-morning, I get another call from Sexy Man wanting to know what I had planned for the day. I told him I had just gotten out of the shower and really hadn’t made any plans yet. He asks me if I’m alone, and wants to know if he can stop by for a few minutes. Once again pleasantly surprised, I said sure, but that I wasn’t dressed yet, and to please give me a few minutes to dry my hair and at least throw my make-up on. He says no problem, and twenty minutes later he’s knocking on my door.
In those twenty minutes, I had managed to dry my hair and put my make-up on, but I hadn’t gotten dressed yet. When he knocked on the door I was still in my robe. After the lunch we shared the day before, and the excitement of him coming over to the house that day, I started to get a little more than horny. I decided to skip scrambling to get into my clothes before opening the door, thinking I would surprise him and open the door with just my robe on. Now, just to give you an idea, this was no pink fuzzy bath robe. It was an expensive silky short robe, so it was ideal for this particular moment in time.
As I opened the door to let him in, my robe fell open, giving him a full view of me standing there in all my glory. With a look of surprise, and a smile on his face, he grabbed me and started kissing me on the spot. We stood there for a few minutes kissing, and then I took him by the hand and led him to my bedroom. I was about to get my second chance to make things right after that last night we were together.
When we got into my bedroom, he wrapped his arms around me and started kissing me again. We just stood there in the bedroom doorway kissing, and I started to shake. I don’t know if I was nervous, or cold because of my lack of clothing, or if I was just that excited, but I couldn’t help myself. Then I noticed that he was shaking too. We laughed at this together, and concluded that it was okay, and we hugged each other. For what seemed like the longest time, Sexy Man just held me as we stood there. Then I looked up at him, and started kissing him again, while at the same time, I began to undress him. Finally, he slid my robe off, and we lay down on the bed.
For the next three hours, Sexy Man and I proceeded to truly enjoy the most amazing, intimate, sexy, hot and fantastic sex I have ever experienced. It was slow and passionate, hot and sweaty, with every moment filled with pleasure. There were moments where he had me shaking so bad from the pleasure of it that I thought I was going to pass out. The orgasms I had came on wave after wave, and it seemed like they went on forever. We couldn’t seem to get enough of each other. If he wasn’t going down on me, I was going down on him. For the longest time it was nothing but oral sex while we explored every single inch of each other’s bodies. I loved every minute of it!
Sexy Man is the first man I have ever been with that got as much pleasure from oral sex as I do. Most men I have been with not only don’t have the patience for long oral sex sessions, but they can rarely hold out so long before they simply can’t wait any longer to get their rocks off. With Sexy Man, I don’t know how he does it. He was hard as a rock, yet he held off for the longest time before we actually had intercourse that day. And even after all the pleasure I had received from him up to that point, he continued go slow and work me into yet another orgasm before he allowed himself the pleasure of his own.
When I finally slid my hot wet juices down on him, just the moan that came out of his mouth almost made me orgasm again. And the sensation of actually feeling him fill me with his rock hard rod took me over the top. Within minutes, I had yet another orgasm. Finally, I was spent, and he knew it. Then he laid me on my back and went to town until he finally shot his load inside me, which was a treat all its own. I can’t really explain it. I was so sensitive from the whole ordeal that I felt every delicious pulsing drop fill me, as it oozed out and dripped down my ass.
Afterwards, we lay there in silence, exhausted in a wonderful sort of way. Eventually Sexy Man said he needed to get going, so he got up and got dressed. As I walked him to the door, he gave me another kiss and that sexy man smile of his and we said our goodbyes. After he left, again with the promise that he would call me soon, I decided to lay down and I fell asleep. It was the best nap I’ve ever had! lol And for the next few days, I walked around with a pleasurable pain between my legs that reminded me of our afternoon delight.
I do believe we both made up for our previous sexual encounter.
To be continued…
Thursday, December 14, 2006
The Missing Margaritas - part 5
Today I am having a bad day. Not bad in the sense of things going wrong for me today, but bad in the sense that I’m hurting both physically and emotionally.
I finally had my surgery on Tuesday. Thank the Goddess that’s over. Tuesday was kind of a blur, which is probably a good thing. No one exactly relishes the thought of remembering going through a surgical procedure. I only hope this will be the last of it. I don’t think I can take anymore of hospitals or doctors right now. On the pain scale, I’m a hurtin’ pup. I feel like someone hit me with a sledgehammer between my legs. Walking hurts – sitting hurts – lying down hurts. It is “painfully” obvious that the doctor got brutal while performing this surgery. Thank goodness for Vicodin - at least the pain meds manage to dull the pain. The good news is that I’m not hurting as bad as I was from the last surgery, so hopefully I’ll be up and moving around much sooner than last time. At least, I hope so. I can’t afford to miss anymore work.
Emotionally I am a mess today also. Along with being sick and tired of dealing with doctors and hospitals, I am also sick and tired of feeling this empty hole in my heart. It is like a dull ache that never leaves me, and it creates a never-ending struggle to fight back tears. I hate feeling like this. All I want right now is for someone to put their arms around me and hold me, but here I sit, completely alone, with no one in the house but me and my critters. Hubby will be coming home tomorrow after being gone for six weeks, so I am really looking forward to not being alone in the house anymore.
Given my mood today, I thought it might do me some good to walk down memory lane again and share some more of my tales about Sexy Man. When I think about my time with him it makes me smile and puts me in a good mood. Unfortunately I can’t have any margaritas tonight because of the pain killers, hence the title, “The Missing Margaritas”, but I won’t let that stop me. I need to smile.
So where was I? I think we were heading towards “date #2” with Sexy Man…
I don’t remember too much of the following week between seeing Sexy Man. I do remember being very excited at the thought of getting to see him again, as well as the incredible desire to want to finish what we had started. I also remember him calling me one day during that week to discuss our next “get together”, which was going to be that Friday night. During our conversation he mentioned that one of the guys from work had his mom coming in for a visit, and that she would be out with the gang that night also. Apparently there had been some joking and arranging through the guys at work that Sexy Man was supposed to keep this guy’s mom company when we all went out, and that he was going to have to dance with her that night. In other words, he was supposed to keep her entertained. Sexy Man also mentioned that we (he and I) would have to play it very low key that night, so as not to give any indication that we were actually seeing each other. Basically, Sexy Man was very concerned about our mutual friends, particularly the guys from work, discovering our little secret, so discretion was of the utmost priority. I agreed. The last thing either of us wanted was to cause any problems for the other.
Friday night finally arrived, and as before, I took great care in getting ready that night. I wanted to look my best for Sexy Man, as expectations of the night to come danced around in my mind. When I got to the watering hole that night, I looked for Sexy Man’s car outside in the parking lot. He hadn’t arrived yet, which was a little disappointing, but I went inside with hopes that it wouldn’t be long before he got there. I got my drink and eagerly awaited his arrival.
On the nights I went out, I liked to try to get there right when the drink specials start – I don’t want to miss a minute of the drink specials! lol At 50 cents a drink, you can get pretty loaded during three hours worth of drink specials, which is one of the reasons we chose this watering hole as our gathering place. ;) As I’m sitting there having my .50 cent drink of Jack ‘n Coke, slowly but surely everyone starts arriving. After about a half hour or so, Sexy Man also shows up.
When I saw Sexy Man that night, I got very excited, as you can probably imagine. I couldn’t wait for a hug just so that I could feel him pressed against me again. *grins* I’m sitting there watching him, trying not to be obvious about it, as he says his hello’s to everyone. He was slowly making his way towards me, giving hugs or hand shakes to everyone in his path, when he stops and says he’s going to go to the bar to get his drink. I remember thinking to myself, what’s up with that? No hello for me?? I continued to sit there waiting patiently.
When Sexy Man returns with his drink, he stops to talk to one of the guys he knows from work. He glanced in my direction, and I gave him a small wave to say hi, and he gives me a faint smile then continues talking with his buddy. Meanwhile, I’m thinking, “you better get your ass over here and at least say hello to me.” Finally he starts making his way in my direction again, but once again he stops before he gets to me. Okay, I’ve been patient enough. I was starting to think he was going to ignore me. Then, when he looks at me again, I announced rather loudly, “Don’t I get a hug hello?”, as I stretch my arms out to get a hug. With that, he FINALLY walks up to me, scoops me in his arms and gives me a big hug. It’s about time!
Now I know that he wanted to be discrete that night, but we had been partying together for over a year, and we ALWAYS said hello with hug. Why should that change now? I would have thought it wouldn’t have been a big deal, but apparently I was wrong.
After the hug hello, he went about his business of being discrete again. Sexy Man was on my mind in a big way, and I really wanted to sit with him and talk, but given his lack of enthusiasm to say hello to me, I thought it would be best if I let him do what he felt was best in this circumstance, so I left him alone. Although, to be honest, I was starting to get a bad vibe, thinking there might be more to this distance than just the need for discretion.
I had brought my camera with me that night, because everyone we knew was going to be there. Initially I had forgotten I had it with me, but eventually I remembered it, and pulled it out to start taking some pictures. As luck would have it, I took about 3 or 4 pictures when my camera batteries decided to die on me. In need of a ride to the store to get more batteries, I walked up to Sexy Man and asked him if he would mind running me to the store. Of course, I was also hoping for a little one on one time with him too, so this was the perfect excuse to get him alone. He agreed to take me to the store, and we left.
Given the whole hug incident, I was a little leery of making any attempts at physical contact with Sexy Man that evening. When we left to go to the store, I tried to be as nonchalant as I could about the whole thing, because I didn’t want him to know I was disappointed. Well, when we walked outside, he actually put his arm around me and kissed me, which I was totally not expecting. I was happy about it, but surprised too. Then we drove to the store, but not a whole lot was said aside from casual conversation. Meanwhile, I’m wishing he would kiss me again.
While we were in the store walking around looking for batteries, the casual conversation continued. Once or twice he actually touched me, like he was just letting me know he was there. But then we turned a corner, going into an aisle that was empty, and he practically body-slammed me against a column, pressing his body against me like he wanted to get inside of me, and he proceeded to kiss me hard and passionately. It was the kind of kiss that said I want you, and I want you now! But before I knew what hit me, the kiss was over, and he was walking away from me like nothing ever happened. Whoa! If you have never experienced that kind of spontaneous passion, let me just tell you, it’s FABULOUS! It set my whole body on fire in a matter of seconds!
A little flushed and dazed by the kiss, I caught up to Sexy Man and asked him what that was all about. He grabbed my hand and smiled his sexy smile at me, then said we needed to be careful incase we ran into anyone we knew. Then he let go of my hand, and wouldn’t you know it, at that moment someone he knew walked into the store. Timing, right? It’s all about timing. As Sexy Man walks over to the guy to say hello, I found the batteries I was looking for. I paid for them, and met him at the door. On the way to the car, I told him what a difficult night it was going to be having to keep my hands to myself, and then we got in the car, he kissed me again, and we headed back to the bar.
When we got back to the watering hole, we also went back to being discrete. It really turned out to be a hard night for me. I wanted so bad to spend time with him, but we barely said two words to each other all night. The one time all night that I did manage to spend a few minutes with him, we also managed to get one picture taken of us together. I really didn’t understand his need to be as distant as he was being. For anyone who really knew us, people might have thought Sexy Man and I were mad at each other or something, because we always hung out together talking when were out. Now we were acting like we barely knew each other. As the night wore on, that bad vibe came back again, and I started to wonder if maybe he really wasn’t all that interested anymore.
For the rest of the night I watched Sexy Man talking and dancing with his co-worker’s mom, while I tried to have a good time myself enjoying my time with the rest of my friends, trying to patient for the night to be over when I might actually get to spend some quality time with him. But as the night progressed, instead I started to get the impression that he was very into his co-worker’s mom, and that I had suddenly become old news. I hate to admit it, but I was jealous. He pretty much danced with her, and her alone, all night, and I hadn’t gotten to dance with him even once. Then “Amarillo by Morning” started playing, which is one of my all time favorite George Strait songs. When the song came on, I noticed Sexy Man was alone for the moment, so I walked up to him and grabbed his hand to start heading towards the dance floor with him, when out of nowhere comes “Mom”. She grabbed his other hand and said, “I love this song – let’s dance!”, and she proceeded to pull him out on the dance floor. Well, I must have had quite the look on my face, because she stopped and looked at me and said, “I’m sorry. Do you mind?” What was I going to say, “Yes I mind. I want to screw this man’s brains out and you can’t have him”? I’m sure that would have gone over really well. Instead, I said that I didn’t mind, and I watched them go out to the dance floor.
I don’t know why this affected me like it did. Up to this point, what Sexy Man and I had was pretty much just a “party-buddy” friendship which had turned into a sexual desire for each other. But while I watched them out on the dance floor, I actually started to cry. Then the song was over, and as I watched the two of them head back to our table, I dried my eyes and decided that it was probably over before it really got started. He had found his “date” for the night, and it wasn’t me, so I might as well get over it. For the remainder of the night, I tried to put Sexy Man out of my mind.
When the night was over, I grabbed my cell phone to call a cab. At that moment, Sexy Man walks up to me, touches my arm and asks me if I’m okay. I told him I was fine, and that I was just calling a cab to go home. He closes my cell phone and says he will give me a ride home. I said thank you, but that it was okay, I can just call a cab, and he tells me not to be silly. I’m not really in the mood to argue, so I accept the ride, at the same time wondering where “mom” was. Apparently she had left with her son, which surprised me as well as confused me.
As we are driving to my house, Sexy Man starts telling me what a terrible dancer “mom” was. I didn’t really comment, just letting him ramble about his evening. At that point, I wasn’t really interested in hearing about his evening. I just wanted to go home. I’m not acting bitchy or anything like that, but I had pretty much concluded that any physical contact we had that night was going to be the last of it given his actions (or lack thereof) that evening. In my mind, he was just being the gentleman that he was by giving me a ride home, because he hadn’t so much as touched me since we left the watering hole, let alone given me any indication that the passionate kiss we had shared at the store earlier that night was going to lead to anything else. I sat there quietly in his car, listening to him talk, but not really paying much attention to what he was saying. I was just watching the streets roll by as we got closer to my house.
Well, this night is just full of surprises, because Sexy Man passed right by my street. At first I thought he had missed the turn off, maybe forgetting how to get to my house. I said, “You missed the turn, just make a left h-e-r-e” as he passes yet another street. He’d pretty much stopped talking now. Then, about 6 blocks later, he makes a left, and pulls in behind some quick oil change place.
Now I am really surprised and confused again. I asked him what we were doing there, and he says, “I’ve been thinking about you all night.” I’m thinking, “You could have fooled me”, but I didn’t say anything. Then he puts in an Eagles CD.
One of the first things Sexy Man and I ever realized we have in common is our love of the musical group, The Eagles, which is our favorite group.
We sat there listening to The Eagles for a few minutes, and Sexy Man grabs my hand, holding it and stroking it with a serious look on his face. Then tenderly he touches my face and pulls me to him to kiss me. You have to know by now that this mans kisses make me melt, and as frustrated as I was about how the whole evening had gone down, each kiss made me forget that frustration a little more.
The mood was suddenly very intimate. I was also raining that night, which also had an impact on the mood. Then the song “New York Minute” comes on and Sexy Man pulls back to listen to the song. With his eyes closed, he starts singing with the CD, then stops and looks outside for a second, and he comments on how much he really loves the rain. I know this might sound corny to some people, but in that moment, I felt like I caught a glimpse into his soul. Something about the way he said it and the look in his eyes…
This was turning out to be a very a strange night for me, with a full range of emotions being felt on a personal level, not to mention Sexy Man’s inconsistent and unpredictable behavior. When the song was over, Sexy Man reaches for me, telling me that he wants me. Suddenly he is all over me, kissing me passionately again, with his hands almost in a frenzy trying to get my pants off. It didn’t take long for that fire to start burning within me again, and I’m equally grabbing and pulling at his pants trying to remove them at the same time. We happened to be in Wifey’s van that night, instead of his car, and Sexy Man gets up and starts heading to the back of the van, stretching out his hand for me to follow.
When I got to the back of the van, all I could think of at the time was that I really needed to feel this man inside me. He and I had two encounters so far that still hadn’t led to his own release, and all I wanted was for him to screw my brains out at that point. I am guessing that he felt the same, because he laid me on the seat on my back and proceeded to do just that. I have no idea how long we were there. I know it was a while. Sexy Man has great stamina. Good thing too, because all I kept thinking was, “please don’t stop!” It was, for all intents and purposes, a good ol’ fashioned screwing. There was no foreplay except for the few minutes in the front seat – but then, we had already had enough of that before hand given our last two times together, so when all is said and done, we simply wanted to get down to the business of sex, and I wasn’t complaining.
When it was all over and both of us are all hot, sweaty, and pleasantly exhausted, Sexy Man is still laying on top of me, and I hear him say the damnedest thing. As he’s climbing off of me, he says, “I didn’t think it was going to be like that.” Huh? I didn’t know what to say. To this day, I still don’t know what he meant by that. Was he disappointed? Or was he surprised at how hard core it was? Did he have something else in mind, and things didn’t work out like he had planned? I don’t know. Given the look on his face, I got the impression that he was disappointed. I wish I had asked him then and there what he meant by it.
Needless to say, my ego felt like it had just been shot down in the worst way. Then, to add insult to injury, as we’re climbing into the front seat to leave, I hit my head on the light fixture on the ceiling of the van, which left a goose-egg size lump on my head that hurt for a week. To this day, I swear that was Wifey hitting me on the head, getting back at me for screwing her husband in her van. I suppose it was a fitting ending to that night, given the course of events.
After Sexy Man dropped me off that night, I really didn’t think I would hear from him again. I went to bed that night confused about everything that happened. Mostly, I was disappointed that I might have disappointed him and I vowed that, given the chance, the next time we were together it would be different – much different.
To be continued…
I finally had my surgery on Tuesday. Thank the Goddess that’s over. Tuesday was kind of a blur, which is probably a good thing. No one exactly relishes the thought of remembering going through a surgical procedure. I only hope this will be the last of it. I don’t think I can take anymore of hospitals or doctors right now. On the pain scale, I’m a hurtin’ pup. I feel like someone hit me with a sledgehammer between my legs. Walking hurts – sitting hurts – lying down hurts. It is “painfully” obvious that the doctor got brutal while performing this surgery. Thank goodness for Vicodin - at least the pain meds manage to dull the pain. The good news is that I’m not hurting as bad as I was from the last surgery, so hopefully I’ll be up and moving around much sooner than last time. At least, I hope so. I can’t afford to miss anymore work.
Emotionally I am a mess today also. Along with being sick and tired of dealing with doctors and hospitals, I am also sick and tired of feeling this empty hole in my heart. It is like a dull ache that never leaves me, and it creates a never-ending struggle to fight back tears. I hate feeling like this. All I want right now is for someone to put their arms around me and hold me, but here I sit, completely alone, with no one in the house but me and my critters. Hubby will be coming home tomorrow after being gone for six weeks, so I am really looking forward to not being alone in the house anymore.
Given my mood today, I thought it might do me some good to walk down memory lane again and share some more of my tales about Sexy Man. When I think about my time with him it makes me smile and puts me in a good mood. Unfortunately I can’t have any margaritas tonight because of the pain killers, hence the title, “The Missing Margaritas”, but I won’t let that stop me. I need to smile.
So where was I? I think we were heading towards “date #2” with Sexy Man…
I don’t remember too much of the following week between seeing Sexy Man. I do remember being very excited at the thought of getting to see him again, as well as the incredible desire to want to finish what we had started. I also remember him calling me one day during that week to discuss our next “get together”, which was going to be that Friday night. During our conversation he mentioned that one of the guys from work had his mom coming in for a visit, and that she would be out with the gang that night also. Apparently there had been some joking and arranging through the guys at work that Sexy Man was supposed to keep this guy’s mom company when we all went out, and that he was going to have to dance with her that night. In other words, he was supposed to keep her entertained. Sexy Man also mentioned that we (he and I) would have to play it very low key that night, so as not to give any indication that we were actually seeing each other. Basically, Sexy Man was very concerned about our mutual friends, particularly the guys from work, discovering our little secret, so discretion was of the utmost priority. I agreed. The last thing either of us wanted was to cause any problems for the other.
Friday night finally arrived, and as before, I took great care in getting ready that night. I wanted to look my best for Sexy Man, as expectations of the night to come danced around in my mind. When I got to the watering hole that night, I looked for Sexy Man’s car outside in the parking lot. He hadn’t arrived yet, which was a little disappointing, but I went inside with hopes that it wouldn’t be long before he got there. I got my drink and eagerly awaited his arrival.
On the nights I went out, I liked to try to get there right when the drink specials start – I don’t want to miss a minute of the drink specials! lol At 50 cents a drink, you can get pretty loaded during three hours worth of drink specials, which is one of the reasons we chose this watering hole as our gathering place. ;) As I’m sitting there having my .50 cent drink of Jack ‘n Coke, slowly but surely everyone starts arriving. After about a half hour or so, Sexy Man also shows up.
When I saw Sexy Man that night, I got very excited, as you can probably imagine. I couldn’t wait for a hug just so that I could feel him pressed against me again. *grins* I’m sitting there watching him, trying not to be obvious about it, as he says his hello’s to everyone. He was slowly making his way towards me, giving hugs or hand shakes to everyone in his path, when he stops and says he’s going to go to the bar to get his drink. I remember thinking to myself, what’s up with that? No hello for me?? I continued to sit there waiting patiently.
When Sexy Man returns with his drink, he stops to talk to one of the guys he knows from work. He glanced in my direction, and I gave him a small wave to say hi, and he gives me a faint smile then continues talking with his buddy. Meanwhile, I’m thinking, “you better get your ass over here and at least say hello to me.” Finally he starts making his way in my direction again, but once again he stops before he gets to me. Okay, I’ve been patient enough. I was starting to think he was going to ignore me. Then, when he looks at me again, I announced rather loudly, “Don’t I get a hug hello?”, as I stretch my arms out to get a hug. With that, he FINALLY walks up to me, scoops me in his arms and gives me a big hug. It’s about time!
Now I know that he wanted to be discrete that night, but we had been partying together for over a year, and we ALWAYS said hello with hug. Why should that change now? I would have thought it wouldn’t have been a big deal, but apparently I was wrong.
After the hug hello, he went about his business of being discrete again. Sexy Man was on my mind in a big way, and I really wanted to sit with him and talk, but given his lack of enthusiasm to say hello to me, I thought it would be best if I let him do what he felt was best in this circumstance, so I left him alone. Although, to be honest, I was starting to get a bad vibe, thinking there might be more to this distance than just the need for discretion.
I had brought my camera with me that night, because everyone we knew was going to be there. Initially I had forgotten I had it with me, but eventually I remembered it, and pulled it out to start taking some pictures. As luck would have it, I took about 3 or 4 pictures when my camera batteries decided to die on me. In need of a ride to the store to get more batteries, I walked up to Sexy Man and asked him if he would mind running me to the store. Of course, I was also hoping for a little one on one time with him too, so this was the perfect excuse to get him alone. He agreed to take me to the store, and we left.
Given the whole hug incident, I was a little leery of making any attempts at physical contact with Sexy Man that evening. When we left to go to the store, I tried to be as nonchalant as I could about the whole thing, because I didn’t want him to know I was disappointed. Well, when we walked outside, he actually put his arm around me and kissed me, which I was totally not expecting. I was happy about it, but surprised too. Then we drove to the store, but not a whole lot was said aside from casual conversation. Meanwhile, I’m wishing he would kiss me again.
While we were in the store walking around looking for batteries, the casual conversation continued. Once or twice he actually touched me, like he was just letting me know he was there. But then we turned a corner, going into an aisle that was empty, and he practically body-slammed me against a column, pressing his body against me like he wanted to get inside of me, and he proceeded to kiss me hard and passionately. It was the kind of kiss that said I want you, and I want you now! But before I knew what hit me, the kiss was over, and he was walking away from me like nothing ever happened. Whoa! If you have never experienced that kind of spontaneous passion, let me just tell you, it’s FABULOUS! It set my whole body on fire in a matter of seconds!
A little flushed and dazed by the kiss, I caught up to Sexy Man and asked him what that was all about. He grabbed my hand and smiled his sexy smile at me, then said we needed to be careful incase we ran into anyone we knew. Then he let go of my hand, and wouldn’t you know it, at that moment someone he knew walked into the store. Timing, right? It’s all about timing. As Sexy Man walks over to the guy to say hello, I found the batteries I was looking for. I paid for them, and met him at the door. On the way to the car, I told him what a difficult night it was going to be having to keep my hands to myself, and then we got in the car, he kissed me again, and we headed back to the bar.
When we got back to the watering hole, we also went back to being discrete. It really turned out to be a hard night for me. I wanted so bad to spend time with him, but we barely said two words to each other all night. The one time all night that I did manage to spend a few minutes with him, we also managed to get one picture taken of us together. I really didn’t understand his need to be as distant as he was being. For anyone who really knew us, people might have thought Sexy Man and I were mad at each other or something, because we always hung out together talking when were out. Now we were acting like we barely knew each other. As the night wore on, that bad vibe came back again, and I started to wonder if maybe he really wasn’t all that interested anymore.
For the rest of the night I watched Sexy Man talking and dancing with his co-worker’s mom, while I tried to have a good time myself enjoying my time with the rest of my friends, trying to patient for the night to be over when I might actually get to spend some quality time with him. But as the night progressed, instead I started to get the impression that he was very into his co-worker’s mom, and that I had suddenly become old news. I hate to admit it, but I was jealous. He pretty much danced with her, and her alone, all night, and I hadn’t gotten to dance with him even once. Then “Amarillo by Morning” started playing, which is one of my all time favorite George Strait songs. When the song came on, I noticed Sexy Man was alone for the moment, so I walked up to him and grabbed his hand to start heading towards the dance floor with him, when out of nowhere comes “Mom”. She grabbed his other hand and said, “I love this song – let’s dance!”, and she proceeded to pull him out on the dance floor. Well, I must have had quite the look on my face, because she stopped and looked at me and said, “I’m sorry. Do you mind?” What was I going to say, “Yes I mind. I want to screw this man’s brains out and you can’t have him”? I’m sure that would have gone over really well. Instead, I said that I didn’t mind, and I watched them go out to the dance floor.
I don’t know why this affected me like it did. Up to this point, what Sexy Man and I had was pretty much just a “party-buddy” friendship which had turned into a sexual desire for each other. But while I watched them out on the dance floor, I actually started to cry. Then the song was over, and as I watched the two of them head back to our table, I dried my eyes and decided that it was probably over before it really got started. He had found his “date” for the night, and it wasn’t me, so I might as well get over it. For the remainder of the night, I tried to put Sexy Man out of my mind.
When the night was over, I grabbed my cell phone to call a cab. At that moment, Sexy Man walks up to me, touches my arm and asks me if I’m okay. I told him I was fine, and that I was just calling a cab to go home. He closes my cell phone and says he will give me a ride home. I said thank you, but that it was okay, I can just call a cab, and he tells me not to be silly. I’m not really in the mood to argue, so I accept the ride, at the same time wondering where “mom” was. Apparently she had left with her son, which surprised me as well as confused me.
As we are driving to my house, Sexy Man starts telling me what a terrible dancer “mom” was. I didn’t really comment, just letting him ramble about his evening. At that point, I wasn’t really interested in hearing about his evening. I just wanted to go home. I’m not acting bitchy or anything like that, but I had pretty much concluded that any physical contact we had that night was going to be the last of it given his actions (or lack thereof) that evening. In my mind, he was just being the gentleman that he was by giving me a ride home, because he hadn’t so much as touched me since we left the watering hole, let alone given me any indication that the passionate kiss we had shared at the store earlier that night was going to lead to anything else. I sat there quietly in his car, listening to him talk, but not really paying much attention to what he was saying. I was just watching the streets roll by as we got closer to my house.
Well, this night is just full of surprises, because Sexy Man passed right by my street. At first I thought he had missed the turn off, maybe forgetting how to get to my house. I said, “You missed the turn, just make a left h-e-r-e” as he passes yet another street. He’d pretty much stopped talking now. Then, about 6 blocks later, he makes a left, and pulls in behind some quick oil change place.
Now I am really surprised and confused again. I asked him what we were doing there, and he says, “I’ve been thinking about you all night.” I’m thinking, “You could have fooled me”, but I didn’t say anything. Then he puts in an Eagles CD.
One of the first things Sexy Man and I ever realized we have in common is our love of the musical group, The Eagles, which is our favorite group.
We sat there listening to The Eagles for a few minutes, and Sexy Man grabs my hand, holding it and stroking it with a serious look on his face. Then tenderly he touches my face and pulls me to him to kiss me. You have to know by now that this mans kisses make me melt, and as frustrated as I was about how the whole evening had gone down, each kiss made me forget that frustration a little more.
The mood was suddenly very intimate. I was also raining that night, which also had an impact on the mood. Then the song “New York Minute” comes on and Sexy Man pulls back to listen to the song. With his eyes closed, he starts singing with the CD, then stops and looks outside for a second, and he comments on how much he really loves the rain. I know this might sound corny to some people, but in that moment, I felt like I caught a glimpse into his soul. Something about the way he said it and the look in his eyes…
This was turning out to be a very a strange night for me, with a full range of emotions being felt on a personal level, not to mention Sexy Man’s inconsistent and unpredictable behavior. When the song was over, Sexy Man reaches for me, telling me that he wants me. Suddenly he is all over me, kissing me passionately again, with his hands almost in a frenzy trying to get my pants off. It didn’t take long for that fire to start burning within me again, and I’m equally grabbing and pulling at his pants trying to remove them at the same time. We happened to be in Wifey’s van that night, instead of his car, and Sexy Man gets up and starts heading to the back of the van, stretching out his hand for me to follow.
When I got to the back of the van, all I could think of at the time was that I really needed to feel this man inside me. He and I had two encounters so far that still hadn’t led to his own release, and all I wanted was for him to screw my brains out at that point. I am guessing that he felt the same, because he laid me on the seat on my back and proceeded to do just that. I have no idea how long we were there. I know it was a while. Sexy Man has great stamina. Good thing too, because all I kept thinking was, “please don’t stop!” It was, for all intents and purposes, a good ol’ fashioned screwing. There was no foreplay except for the few minutes in the front seat – but then, we had already had enough of that before hand given our last two times together, so when all is said and done, we simply wanted to get down to the business of sex, and I wasn’t complaining.
When it was all over and both of us are all hot, sweaty, and pleasantly exhausted, Sexy Man is still laying on top of me, and I hear him say the damnedest thing. As he’s climbing off of me, he says, “I didn’t think it was going to be like that.” Huh? I didn’t know what to say. To this day, I still don’t know what he meant by that. Was he disappointed? Or was he surprised at how hard core it was? Did he have something else in mind, and things didn’t work out like he had planned? I don’t know. Given the look on his face, I got the impression that he was disappointed. I wish I had asked him then and there what he meant by it.
Needless to say, my ego felt like it had just been shot down in the worst way. Then, to add insult to injury, as we’re climbing into the front seat to leave, I hit my head on the light fixture on the ceiling of the van, which left a goose-egg size lump on my head that hurt for a week. To this day, I swear that was Wifey hitting me on the head, getting back at me for screwing her husband in her van. I suppose it was a fitting ending to that night, given the course of events.
After Sexy Man dropped me off that night, I really didn’t think I would hear from him again. I went to bed that night confused about everything that happened. Mostly, I was disappointed that I might have disappointed him and I vowed that, given the chance, the next time we were together it would be different – much different.
To be continued…
Friday, December 08, 2006
Kissing Spree
I love kissing. I'm not talking about the kind of kiss you share with Mom & Dad, Grandma, or other relatives or friends. I'm talking about the kind of kiss you share with a lover. For me, kissing is a very sensual, sexy, and intimate form of sharing between two people who have a desire for each other. The best part about kissing a lover, or a potential lover, is the feeling you get that makes passion rise to the surface and blood rush to the genitals, usually bringing about the strong need or desire for really hot, steamy sex. I also think you can tell a lot about a person through a kiss - particularly, I think you can get a really good idea of what kind of lover they may be.
For example, when I kiss my husband, his lips and tongue are always sort of stiff. Not that Hubby is a bad kisser, but his kisses also mimic his stiffness in bed (and I don't mean his hard-on, lol). It's like he can't relax and just go with the flow. Everything is sort of mechanical with him, and he doesn't explore much with his tongue, which is also sadly a reflection of his lack of imagination in bed. The good news is that I have enough imagination for the both of us, so life in our bedroom is never exactly boring as long as I keep the ideas flowing.
Then there is Sexy Man, who is an amazing kisser. His lips are relaxed, and his tongue always eager to explore. His tongue is also very flexible - oh my is it flexible! As kissers and lover's go, Sexy Man is at the very tip-top of my list! There was never a dull moment when Sexy Man and I were alone, with the best part being that he and I are equally imaginative in bed.
Well, I have been on a kissing spree as of late! How fun! I don't know if I can explain why I have felt a need to go on this little kissing spree, except I just felt like kissing these people. Maybe it is because I am looking for something more than what I have in my life right now. Maybe it is because I am lonely and just need physical contact. Maybe it's just because I'm really horny given the fact that I haven't had sex in three months. Or maybe it is because I am searching for that mind-blowing something that I had with Sexy Man, trying to recapture how he made me feel. I am not sure why, but I have enjoyed it. :)
Kiss #1 was on the first night I went out after all these long months of staying at home. I had a few drinks in me, and getting out and having a chance to socialize brought out the lioness in me. I was sitting with my friend at the country bar, relaxing and having a good time, and I was introduced to a new friend, whom we'll call "Beauty". Beauty is not particularly attractive, more plain than anything, but she is beautiful at the same time. She's very sweet, a little on the shy and reserved side, and maybe even a little naive, at least at first glance. She also has a very pretty smile. Something about her - I don't know what, but she and I really clicked. She got a full dose of me that first night as I shared some private things about my life with her and she, in turn, shared some secrets of her own with me. We ended up telling each other stuff that you wouldn't normally share with someone the first time you meet them.
At one point in the evening I couldn't help myself, and in front of everyone sitting there, I got up, stretched myself across our table, held her face in my hands and laid a hot and juicy kiss on her lips. She was very tasty! :) Somewhere between surprise and excitement, she said, "Oh my goodness!", lol - and then, to my surprise, she asked for another one. Yay! I had actually forgotten my kisses with Beauty until now, because that same night I was also flirting with Kiss Victim #2. Beauty lives right around the corner from me. Now that I think about it, I may have to explore the possibilities with Beauty!
Kiss Victim #2 was on the same night as my kisses with Beauty, and is the guy who thinks I have the personality of four blank walls. At the time, I thought it was a yummy kiss. Now, after recent events, he ain't all that! lol Of course, that's just the bitch in me saying that. He really wasn't a bad kisser, and I would have gone to "breakfast" at his house that night if I could have, but now I'm glad I didn't, for obvious reasons. I should have taken Beauty home and rocked her world instead - lol!
Then there was Kiss or be Kissed #3 - that would be Texas Dude. I really didn't have a choice with that kiss, because he grabbed me and kissed me before I had a chance to refuse, but that was a yummy kiss too. Actually, if Texas Dude hadn't been so drunk, I think the kiss would have been even better. The man gave me the tingles! I love the tingles! I am still keeping an eye out for Texas Dude, hoping we run into each other again. ;)
Kiss #4 happened this past Monday night - and this one was so totally ALL me! If you are reading all my posts, you will remember me mentioning the extra passenger we managed to pick up the night of that dreadful party. He was the first one to tell me to lighten up that night. At least he said it in a pleasant way. *sighs* A-N-Y-W-A-Y...
Last Monday night I finally managed to make it to karaoke, and it was at the country bar. My friend and I are just hanging out that night, not doing any major drinking, waiting for our turn to sing - we had been there for about an hour or so. About 10:30 we see our extra passenger guy (whom I will now call Trucker) walk into the bar. He sat down at the bar alone and had a drink. We didn't like the fact that he was sitting alone. Up to this point, aside from the night of the party, we really didn't know this guy, but he seemed nice enough so we invited him over to our table.
After having a chance to talk to him (this time he was sober - vs. the night of the party where he was pretty drunk), we found out that he really is a nice guy. We spent the rest of the evening with him talking and joking and hanging out. Actually, the talking between Trucker and I went more along the lines of flirting, while my friend was socializing with some other people she knew who were there that night. Well, the longer Trucker and I talked, the closer his chair got to mine, until eventually he might as well have been sitting on my lap, lol! Then he asked me to dance. I don't generally turn down a chance to dance, and by this point our flirting was becoming really obvious, so I of course said yes.
Trucker takes me out to the dance floor and while we're two-steppin' he does one of those numbers where I suddenly find myself enveloped in his arms from the front. With him behind me, holding me as close as he can and swaying in a really sexy kind of way, he whispers in my ear that he could stay like that all night. Oh my! (Insert tingle #1 *grins*) Then we go back to the table, again he's practically on my lap, and we keep talking and flirting - then he starts buying my drinks for me.
On a side note, when it comes to men buying me drinks, I have not had that honor too much in my life. I generally take care of myself when it comes to my drinks. Even Hubby won't pay for my drinks - he usually makes me carry the money, so I pay for my own. It's nice to have a man pay for my drinks for a change - makes me feel a little spoiled. :)
So, anyway, Trucker started buying my drinks at that point, and I ended up not having to pay for another drink the rest of the night. That was really nice. As we are sitting there talking, he's looking straight at me, and then he tells me I have the most amazing eyes. (Along comes tingle #2!) I blushed! He laughed at the fact that I blushed. Then he took me out to dance again, and didn't take long to do another one of those "cuddle" moments on the dance floor. We stayed like that for what seemed like a long time, and I felt very cozy.
I have to say - the quickest way into my pants is to touch the romantic in me, and this guy was working all the right moves! By the end of the night I really wanted to feel this guys bare hands on my body! On that note, closing time had arrived, and as we are leaving I turned to Trucker, grabbed his hand, and ran his fingers down the center of my bare chest while I kissed him. (Another one of those moments where I just couldn't help myself!) I was wearing a very low-cut, all-cleavage kind of shirt that night, so his fingers ran down the center of my double-D breasts being held in by a great push-up bra. It felt damn good to feel a man's hands on my skin! And the kiss, well, it was one of surprise on his part, but he didn't refuse, lol
Then we go outside to leave and he grabs my hand and draws me to him, asking if he can have another one. I didn't hesitate to kiss him again. :) After the second kiss, I said regrettably that I had to go because my ride was leaving. He tells me that it's not often that he finds a woman that is such a great kisser, and pulls me to him and kisses me again. (TINGLE-TINGLE-TINGLE!!!!!) As I'm pulling away to leave, he asks me if we really need to stop there? I said yes because I really had to get home, but we have agreed that we will meet again. YUMMY!
All I can say is this next surgery better be the last, because I truly don't know how much more I can take of not being able to have sex! My toy box just isn't cutting it anymore - I NEED TO GET PHYSICAL!
So far, that is four kisses in three weeks, and it isn't over just yet. ;)
Wednesday night was ladies night, so my friends and I went down to the country bar. This was actually supposed to be my last night out before my surgery, when I will be temporarily out of commission again for the next few weeks. Given that, I had every intention of going out that night and having a great time!
The beginning of ladies night started out with Beauty wanting us to sit with this guy she has a crush on. Interestingly enough, this guy just happens to also be the best friend of the guy who won't touch me because I'm married (who we will now refer to as "Mr. Personality" or Mr. P for short, because he is the very same one who said I have the personality of four blanks walls!) Great! Right? Already my night is starting out with a glitch. I told my friend that I wasn't sitting next to Mr. P, so to appease us both, I sat next to her crush, who we will call BJ (which you will understand in minute), and she sat next to Mr. P. (By the way, Mr. P has actually turned into a real dick! He wouldn't even acknowledge my existence that night.)
Ladies night at our bar comes with this cute little paper bracelet that shows you've paid your $10 for your drinks, so I got my bracelet, and my first drink, sucked that down, then got another. Then I sucked that one down and went for a shot of tequila. I was in need of a serious mood boost, because Mr. P's presence was bumming me out. Two drinks and a shot of tequila later, I was starting to get that warm fuzzy view of things, like maybe there was hope for the night yet. Then BJ turns to me and says I really should try a shot of Hot 100. When the waitress rolled around again, I ordered another drink and a two shots of Hot 100 - one for me, and one for BJ. It turns out that Hot 100 is 100 proof cinnamon schnapp's, which is pretty tasty. Well, this shot actually put me in a better mood too, because right after BJ and I did the shot, Mr. P decided to go home because he had to work in the morning. (Poor baby! *she says dripping with sarcasm*) I was so glad he left - it was a definite mood booster, lol
After Mr. P left, I asked BJ what Mr. P's deal was. He said he didn't know, but that he mentioned the "four blank walls" to Mr. P, and Mr. P was really drunk that night and doesn't remember making that comment. Yea, right! That's why he's Mr. Personality himself and won't even talk to me, right? Anyway, after that BJ and I got to talking about nothing in particular when all the sudden the conversation at the table turns to talking about sex.
Why does everyone always end up talking about sex with me? Given that I can't have intercourse right now, I swear they are doing it just to torcher me!
Well, the conversation started to go in the direction of blowjobs, and suddenly everyone is admitting how horny they are - me included. The alcohol was really beginning to kick in at this point, and I opened my big mouth and made a comment about how blowjobs can be very yummy, and BJ says he wished women didn't have that gag reflex. Then I piped in about how blowjobs are all about technique. BJ turns to me and asks me if I have a gag reflex. I told him everyone has the gag reflex, but that its all about relaxing the throat - again, it's all about the technique.
Now I have to tell you that I don't really find BJ to be that attractive. He's a nice guy, and he's got killer blue eyes, but for the most part, he's tall, overweight, kind of sloppy in appearance, and a bit self-centered and cocky, for lack of a better word. In short, he would never make my top 10 list of people to have sex with. He is also about 12 years younger than me, and the age difference is really apparent in the maturity department, but here I am having this conversation about blowjobs with him.
Have you ever noticed how talking about sex tends to make the horny-mones kick into high gear? Or is it just me? Talks about sex really make me horny as hell.
At that point I was ready for another shot, so I ordered a round of Hot 100 for the whole table. Cheers to great sex! We all downed our shots, and BJ looks at me and tells me I've got him really curious, and that he wants to know what my blowjobs are "really" like. I asked him what I was going to get out of the deal, and he says, "satisfaction for a job well done!" HA! I told him that I don't honor men with blowjob just for the hell of it, and that I have to be in the mood to give a blowjob. (It is fair to say that when I am in the mood to give one, I do enjoy them as much as the receiver.) Then I said I expected some pleasure of my own, and that wasn't going to be possible right now given my medical situation.
This particular conversation starts to drop off and go into other directions. The alcohol is going down pretty easy, and we're all laughing and joking around. Then BJ whispers in my ear, "What do I have to do to get you to give me a blowjob?" I laughed at this, and he says, "I'm serious." Doh! Again, I love to flirt, but I can feel this conversation going beyond the flirting stage, and at this point my buzz is turning into an all-out-drunk. To get myself out of this one, I decided to explain to BJ about my medical situation and that sex with him just wasn't going to be possible. Then I added, "I'm married, remember?" That didn't phase him, and he says, "I'll do whatever it takes. Just tell me what I have to do to feel your lips wrapped around my cock." I said it would take a lot more than simply asking me to do it, and that I wasn't about to give him head just because he was begging me to - there would have to be some mutual satisfaction from it. Of course, he says he's all about "eating at the Y". Keep in mind that I'm really drunk at this point, and I'm also super horny. Alcohol and horny are a wicked combination for me, and usually tend to lead to some serious yearnings to get laid. Unfortunately, there was one final blow to the whole conversation - I told him I was having my period, which I really was, and unless he was ready to earn his red wings, it was time to drop the conversation. Well, I guess he wasn't willing to do "anything", because he said he wasn't in to that. I'm thinking, thank goodness. We can finally drop this conversation, and I turned and started talking to Beauty. When I turn back around, sitting in front of me was another shot of Hot 100, compliments of BJ.
Crap! I really didn't need another shot. I was already drunk - but I'm not usually one to look wimpy and turn down a drink, so I did the shot. Not long after, he buys yet another shot of Hot 100 - and then he buys a third, which is actually my 5th shot of this stuff, on top of the tequila and the mixed drinks I had. Now I'm not just drunk, I'm wasted! And we all know what BJ was trying to do - obviously he was hoping if he got me drunk enough, he'd get his desire fulfilled. The man was desperate for a blowjob!
I have to admit that in some weird way, even though I know this guy had nothing but sex on his mind, it was a bit of a compliment that he was trying to get me drunk to get that blowjob, even as twisted as that is. May I just add - this is the first man to ever intentionally try to get me drunk for the purposes of sex, which I am laughing about now, lol!
After that last shot of Hot 100, the rest of the night gets a bit fuzzy. I remember leaving the bar, and before heading out to breakfast, somehow I ended up kissing BJ out in the parking lot, making him the 5th Kiss Victim in less than 4 weeks. I wish I could say whether or not he was a good kisser, but I honestly can't remember that well. I don't remember it giving me anything remotely like the tingles, but I also don't remember it being unpleasant either.
After that kiss, I remember sitting in Denny's. I was sitting next to another friend of BJ's who had shown up sometime that night. Beauty was sitting next to BJ. (Remember, Beauty has a crush on BJ.) I also remember thinking that I shouldn't have kissed BJ because of Beauty - it's just wrong to do that to a friend. Well, word has it that I laid my head on BJ's friend's shoulder and actually fell asleep, lol - which doesn't surprise me, given how drunk I was.
Here's where things get really fuzzy - somehow we ended up at the friend's house. I don't remember getting there, which sucks. I don't even remember paying my tab at Denny's. I do vaguely remember being at the friends house though. Apparently I hadn't had enough to drink that night, because BJ and his friend started serving me margaritas - very strong one's at that! But that's about all I remember.
I am not in the habit of drinking to the point of blacking out. You would think with all the alcohol I had in my system, I would have gotten really sick from it, but as I have said before, I can handle my alcohol pretty good. I don't know if that's a good thing, or a bad thing. I know what is 'bad" though - Bad is not having any recollection of what the hell happened while we were at the friends house, and not remembering the ride home. Bad is also still being drunk from the night before, at 1:30 in the afternoon the next day! Also very disturbing is the fact that I found my bra in my purse the next day, and I have no clue when or how it came off my body. If I had taken it off at home, it would have been on my dresser or on the floor. The fact that it was in my purse, means that it came off while I was out that night.
The next evening I asked Beauty what had happened the night before. She said we had a great time. Well, at least I enjoyed myself! She also said I managed to behave myself, and that I didn't do anything I would regret. When I asked her about the bra, she said that I took it off while were at the Love Shack. OMG! The Love Shack?!?!? Apparently, that's what the friend calls his house. She said that I announced that my bra just HAD to come off, then I took it off and stuffed it into my purse, proclaiming that taking it off felt almost as good as sex! That definitely sounds like something I would say - I just wish I remembered saying it, lol. Beauty also told me that I was flirting pretty heavily with BJ's friend while we were at his house, and that somewhere in there was an invitation to go back to his bedroom and watch porn which, like a good girl (HA!), I refused. I'm thinking maybe I should ask Beauty if I kissed the friend too, lol - because if I did, I don't remember a damn thing.
I'm also thinking I definitely made an ass out of myself that night. It is probably a good thing I will be out of commission for a while. Anymore kissing or alcohol, and I probably would have ended up doing something I did regret. I go into the hospital on Tuesday for my surgery. If all goes well, and it damn well better be the last of it, in about six weeks I should be good to go and able to have sex again. I can't wait! All I can say is bless the person who gets to have me for the first time in 5 months, because they are going to get the ride of their life! I can only hope they are ready and able to keep up! LOL
As for the kissing spree, it is currently on hold. Whether it continues after I'm all better, I don't know, but it was definitely fun while it lasted! ;)~ Where Mr. P & BJ are concerned, I'm going to forget they ever happened. I will, however, be keeping an eye out for Texas Dude, because I would like to meet up with him again, just to get to know him better. And where Trucker is concerned, I am looking forward to seeing him again! If I have my way, he is going to reap the benefits of my sex-frenzy after this surgery - after Hubby, of course, because bless his hard-on, he's been waiting patiently as long as I have. I have also decided that I am definitely going to explore the possibilities of some girlie-girlie action with Beauty!
I just love kissing!
For example, when I kiss my husband, his lips and tongue are always sort of stiff. Not that Hubby is a bad kisser, but his kisses also mimic his stiffness in bed (and I don't mean his hard-on, lol). It's like he can't relax and just go with the flow. Everything is sort of mechanical with him, and he doesn't explore much with his tongue, which is also sadly a reflection of his lack of imagination in bed. The good news is that I have enough imagination for the both of us, so life in our bedroom is never exactly boring as long as I keep the ideas flowing.
Then there is Sexy Man, who is an amazing kisser. His lips are relaxed, and his tongue always eager to explore. His tongue is also very flexible - oh my is it flexible! As kissers and lover's go, Sexy Man is at the very tip-top of my list! There was never a dull moment when Sexy Man and I were alone, with the best part being that he and I are equally imaginative in bed.
Well, I have been on a kissing spree as of late! How fun! I don't know if I can explain why I have felt a need to go on this little kissing spree, except I just felt like kissing these people. Maybe it is because I am looking for something more than what I have in my life right now. Maybe it is because I am lonely and just need physical contact. Maybe it's just because I'm really horny given the fact that I haven't had sex in three months. Or maybe it is because I am searching for that mind-blowing something that I had with Sexy Man, trying to recapture how he made me feel. I am not sure why, but I have enjoyed it. :)
Kiss #1 was on the first night I went out after all these long months of staying at home. I had a few drinks in me, and getting out and having a chance to socialize brought out the lioness in me. I was sitting with my friend at the country bar, relaxing and having a good time, and I was introduced to a new friend, whom we'll call "Beauty". Beauty is not particularly attractive, more plain than anything, but she is beautiful at the same time. She's very sweet, a little on the shy and reserved side, and maybe even a little naive, at least at first glance. She also has a very pretty smile. Something about her - I don't know what, but she and I really clicked. She got a full dose of me that first night as I shared some private things about my life with her and she, in turn, shared some secrets of her own with me. We ended up telling each other stuff that you wouldn't normally share with someone the first time you meet them.
At one point in the evening I couldn't help myself, and in front of everyone sitting there, I got up, stretched myself across our table, held her face in my hands and laid a hot and juicy kiss on her lips. She was very tasty! :) Somewhere between surprise and excitement, she said, "Oh my goodness!", lol - and then, to my surprise, she asked for another one. Yay! I had actually forgotten my kisses with Beauty until now, because that same night I was also flirting with Kiss Victim #2. Beauty lives right around the corner from me. Now that I think about it, I may have to explore the possibilities with Beauty!
Kiss Victim #2 was on the same night as my kisses with Beauty, and is the guy who thinks I have the personality of four blank walls. At the time, I thought it was a yummy kiss. Now, after recent events, he ain't all that! lol Of course, that's just the bitch in me saying that. He really wasn't a bad kisser, and I would have gone to "breakfast" at his house that night if I could have, but now I'm glad I didn't, for obvious reasons. I should have taken Beauty home and rocked her world instead - lol!
Then there was Kiss or be Kissed #3 - that would be Texas Dude. I really didn't have a choice with that kiss, because he grabbed me and kissed me before I had a chance to refuse, but that was a yummy kiss too. Actually, if Texas Dude hadn't been so drunk, I think the kiss would have been even better. The man gave me the tingles! I love the tingles! I am still keeping an eye out for Texas Dude, hoping we run into each other again. ;)
Kiss #4 happened this past Monday night - and this one was so totally ALL me! If you are reading all my posts, you will remember me mentioning the extra passenger we managed to pick up the night of that dreadful party. He was the first one to tell me to lighten up that night. At least he said it in a pleasant way. *sighs* A-N-Y-W-A-Y...
Last Monday night I finally managed to make it to karaoke, and it was at the country bar. My friend and I are just hanging out that night, not doing any major drinking, waiting for our turn to sing - we had been there for about an hour or so. About 10:30 we see our extra passenger guy (whom I will now call Trucker) walk into the bar. He sat down at the bar alone and had a drink. We didn't like the fact that he was sitting alone. Up to this point, aside from the night of the party, we really didn't know this guy, but he seemed nice enough so we invited him over to our table.
After having a chance to talk to him (this time he was sober - vs. the night of the party where he was pretty drunk), we found out that he really is a nice guy. We spent the rest of the evening with him talking and joking and hanging out. Actually, the talking between Trucker and I went more along the lines of flirting, while my friend was socializing with some other people she knew who were there that night. Well, the longer Trucker and I talked, the closer his chair got to mine, until eventually he might as well have been sitting on my lap, lol! Then he asked me to dance. I don't generally turn down a chance to dance, and by this point our flirting was becoming really obvious, so I of course said yes.
Trucker takes me out to the dance floor and while we're two-steppin' he does one of those numbers where I suddenly find myself enveloped in his arms from the front. With him behind me, holding me as close as he can and swaying in a really sexy kind of way, he whispers in my ear that he could stay like that all night. Oh my! (Insert tingle #1 *grins*) Then we go back to the table, again he's practically on my lap, and we keep talking and flirting - then he starts buying my drinks for me.
On a side note, when it comes to men buying me drinks, I have not had that honor too much in my life. I generally take care of myself when it comes to my drinks. Even Hubby won't pay for my drinks - he usually makes me carry the money, so I pay for my own. It's nice to have a man pay for my drinks for a change - makes me feel a little spoiled. :)
So, anyway, Trucker started buying my drinks at that point, and I ended up not having to pay for another drink the rest of the night. That was really nice. As we are sitting there talking, he's looking straight at me, and then he tells me I have the most amazing eyes. (Along comes tingle #2!) I blushed! He laughed at the fact that I blushed. Then he took me out to dance again, and didn't take long to do another one of those "cuddle" moments on the dance floor. We stayed like that for what seemed like a long time, and I felt very cozy.
I have to say - the quickest way into my pants is to touch the romantic in me, and this guy was working all the right moves! By the end of the night I really wanted to feel this guys bare hands on my body! On that note, closing time had arrived, and as we are leaving I turned to Trucker, grabbed his hand, and ran his fingers down the center of my bare chest while I kissed him. (Another one of those moments where I just couldn't help myself!) I was wearing a very low-cut, all-cleavage kind of shirt that night, so his fingers ran down the center of my double-D breasts being held in by a great push-up bra. It felt damn good to feel a man's hands on my skin! And the kiss, well, it was one of surprise on his part, but he didn't refuse, lol
Then we go outside to leave and he grabs my hand and draws me to him, asking if he can have another one. I didn't hesitate to kiss him again. :) After the second kiss, I said regrettably that I had to go because my ride was leaving. He tells me that it's not often that he finds a woman that is such a great kisser, and pulls me to him and kisses me again. (TINGLE-TINGLE-TINGLE!!!!!) As I'm pulling away to leave, he asks me if we really need to stop there? I said yes because I really had to get home, but we have agreed that we will meet again. YUMMY!
All I can say is this next surgery better be the last, because I truly don't know how much more I can take of not being able to have sex! My toy box just isn't cutting it anymore - I NEED TO GET PHYSICAL!
So far, that is four kisses in three weeks, and it isn't over just yet. ;)
Wednesday night was ladies night, so my friends and I went down to the country bar. This was actually supposed to be my last night out before my surgery, when I will be temporarily out of commission again for the next few weeks. Given that, I had every intention of going out that night and having a great time!
The beginning of ladies night started out with Beauty wanting us to sit with this guy she has a crush on. Interestingly enough, this guy just happens to also be the best friend of the guy who won't touch me because I'm married (who we will now refer to as "Mr. Personality" or Mr. P for short, because he is the very same one who said I have the personality of four blanks walls!) Great! Right? Already my night is starting out with a glitch. I told my friend that I wasn't sitting next to Mr. P, so to appease us both, I sat next to her crush, who we will call BJ (which you will understand in minute), and she sat next to Mr. P. (By the way, Mr. P has actually turned into a real dick! He wouldn't even acknowledge my existence that night.)
Ladies night at our bar comes with this cute little paper bracelet that shows you've paid your $10 for your drinks, so I got my bracelet, and my first drink, sucked that down, then got another. Then I sucked that one down and went for a shot of tequila. I was in need of a serious mood boost, because Mr. P's presence was bumming me out. Two drinks and a shot of tequila later, I was starting to get that warm fuzzy view of things, like maybe there was hope for the night yet. Then BJ turns to me and says I really should try a shot of Hot 100. When the waitress rolled around again, I ordered another drink and a two shots of Hot 100 - one for me, and one for BJ. It turns out that Hot 100 is 100 proof cinnamon schnapp's, which is pretty tasty. Well, this shot actually put me in a better mood too, because right after BJ and I did the shot, Mr. P decided to go home because he had to work in the morning. (Poor baby! *she says dripping with sarcasm*) I was so glad he left - it was a definite mood booster, lol
After Mr. P left, I asked BJ what Mr. P's deal was. He said he didn't know, but that he mentioned the "four blank walls" to Mr. P, and Mr. P was really drunk that night and doesn't remember making that comment. Yea, right! That's why he's Mr. Personality himself and won't even talk to me, right? Anyway, after that BJ and I got to talking about nothing in particular when all the sudden the conversation at the table turns to talking about sex.
Why does everyone always end up talking about sex with me? Given that I can't have intercourse right now, I swear they are doing it just to torcher me!
Well, the conversation started to go in the direction of blowjobs, and suddenly everyone is admitting how horny they are - me included. The alcohol was really beginning to kick in at this point, and I opened my big mouth and made a comment about how blowjobs can be very yummy, and BJ says he wished women didn't have that gag reflex. Then I piped in about how blowjobs are all about technique. BJ turns to me and asks me if I have a gag reflex. I told him everyone has the gag reflex, but that its all about relaxing the throat - again, it's all about the technique.
Now I have to tell you that I don't really find BJ to be that attractive. He's a nice guy, and he's got killer blue eyes, but for the most part, he's tall, overweight, kind of sloppy in appearance, and a bit self-centered and cocky, for lack of a better word. In short, he would never make my top 10 list of people to have sex with. He is also about 12 years younger than me, and the age difference is really apparent in the maturity department, but here I am having this conversation about blowjobs with him.
Have you ever noticed how talking about sex tends to make the horny-mones kick into high gear? Or is it just me? Talks about sex really make me horny as hell.
At that point I was ready for another shot, so I ordered a round of Hot 100 for the whole table. Cheers to great sex! We all downed our shots, and BJ looks at me and tells me I've got him really curious, and that he wants to know what my blowjobs are "really" like. I asked him what I was going to get out of the deal, and he says, "satisfaction for a job well done!" HA! I told him that I don't honor men with blowjob just for the hell of it, and that I have to be in the mood to give a blowjob. (It is fair to say that when I am in the mood to give one, I do enjoy them as much as the receiver.) Then I said I expected some pleasure of my own, and that wasn't going to be possible right now given my medical situation.
This particular conversation starts to drop off and go into other directions. The alcohol is going down pretty easy, and we're all laughing and joking around. Then BJ whispers in my ear, "What do I have to do to get you to give me a blowjob?" I laughed at this, and he says, "I'm serious." Doh! Again, I love to flirt, but I can feel this conversation going beyond the flirting stage, and at this point my buzz is turning into an all-out-drunk. To get myself out of this one, I decided to explain to BJ about my medical situation and that sex with him just wasn't going to be possible. Then I added, "I'm married, remember?" That didn't phase him, and he says, "I'll do whatever it takes. Just tell me what I have to do to feel your lips wrapped around my cock." I said it would take a lot more than simply asking me to do it, and that I wasn't about to give him head just because he was begging me to - there would have to be some mutual satisfaction from it. Of course, he says he's all about "eating at the Y". Keep in mind that I'm really drunk at this point, and I'm also super horny. Alcohol and horny are a wicked combination for me, and usually tend to lead to some serious yearnings to get laid. Unfortunately, there was one final blow to the whole conversation - I told him I was having my period, which I really was, and unless he was ready to earn his red wings, it was time to drop the conversation. Well, I guess he wasn't willing to do "anything", because he said he wasn't in to that. I'm thinking, thank goodness. We can finally drop this conversation, and I turned and started talking to Beauty. When I turn back around, sitting in front of me was another shot of Hot 100, compliments of BJ.
Crap! I really didn't need another shot. I was already drunk - but I'm not usually one to look wimpy and turn down a drink, so I did the shot. Not long after, he buys yet another shot of Hot 100 - and then he buys a third, which is actually my 5th shot of this stuff, on top of the tequila and the mixed drinks I had. Now I'm not just drunk, I'm wasted! And we all know what BJ was trying to do - obviously he was hoping if he got me drunk enough, he'd get his desire fulfilled. The man was desperate for a blowjob!
I have to admit that in some weird way, even though I know this guy had nothing but sex on his mind, it was a bit of a compliment that he was trying to get me drunk to get that blowjob, even as twisted as that is. May I just add - this is the first man to ever intentionally try to get me drunk for the purposes of sex, which I am laughing about now, lol!
After that last shot of Hot 100, the rest of the night gets a bit fuzzy. I remember leaving the bar, and before heading out to breakfast, somehow I ended up kissing BJ out in the parking lot, making him the 5th Kiss Victim in less than 4 weeks. I wish I could say whether or not he was a good kisser, but I honestly can't remember that well. I don't remember it giving me anything remotely like the tingles, but I also don't remember it being unpleasant either.
After that kiss, I remember sitting in Denny's. I was sitting next to another friend of BJ's who had shown up sometime that night. Beauty was sitting next to BJ. (Remember, Beauty has a crush on BJ.) I also remember thinking that I shouldn't have kissed BJ because of Beauty - it's just wrong to do that to a friend. Well, word has it that I laid my head on BJ's friend's shoulder and actually fell asleep, lol - which doesn't surprise me, given how drunk I was.
Here's where things get really fuzzy - somehow we ended up at the friend's house. I don't remember getting there, which sucks. I don't even remember paying my tab at Denny's. I do vaguely remember being at the friends house though. Apparently I hadn't had enough to drink that night, because BJ and his friend started serving me margaritas - very strong one's at that! But that's about all I remember.
I am not in the habit of drinking to the point of blacking out. You would think with all the alcohol I had in my system, I would have gotten really sick from it, but as I have said before, I can handle my alcohol pretty good. I don't know if that's a good thing, or a bad thing. I know what is 'bad" though - Bad is not having any recollection of what the hell happened while we were at the friends house, and not remembering the ride home. Bad is also still being drunk from the night before, at 1:30 in the afternoon the next day! Also very disturbing is the fact that I found my bra in my purse the next day, and I have no clue when or how it came off my body. If I had taken it off at home, it would have been on my dresser or on the floor. The fact that it was in my purse, means that it came off while I was out that night.
The next evening I asked Beauty what had happened the night before. She said we had a great time. Well, at least I enjoyed myself! She also said I managed to behave myself, and that I didn't do anything I would regret. When I asked her about the bra, she said that I took it off while were at the Love Shack. OMG! The Love Shack?!?!? Apparently, that's what the friend calls his house. She said that I announced that my bra just HAD to come off, then I took it off and stuffed it into my purse, proclaiming that taking it off felt almost as good as sex! That definitely sounds like something I would say - I just wish I remembered saying it, lol. Beauty also told me that I was flirting pretty heavily with BJ's friend while we were at his house, and that somewhere in there was an invitation to go back to his bedroom and watch porn which, like a good girl (HA!), I refused. I'm thinking maybe I should ask Beauty if I kissed the friend too, lol - because if I did, I don't remember a damn thing.
I'm also thinking I definitely made an ass out of myself that night. It is probably a good thing I will be out of commission for a while. Anymore kissing or alcohol, and I probably would have ended up doing something I did regret. I go into the hospital on Tuesday for my surgery. If all goes well, and it damn well better be the last of it, in about six weeks I should be good to go and able to have sex again. I can't wait! All I can say is bless the person who gets to have me for the first time in 5 months, because they are going to get the ride of their life! I can only hope they are ready and able to keep up! LOL
As for the kissing spree, it is currently on hold. Whether it continues after I'm all better, I don't know, but it was definitely fun while it lasted! ;)~ Where Mr. P & BJ are concerned, I'm going to forget they ever happened. I will, however, be keeping an eye out for Texas Dude, because I would like to meet up with him again, just to get to know him better. And where Trucker is concerned, I am looking forward to seeing him again! If I have my way, he is going to reap the benefits of my sex-frenzy after this surgery - after Hubby, of course, because bless his hard-on, he's been waiting patiently as long as I have. I have also decided that I am definitely going to explore the possibilities of some girlie-girlie action with Beauty!
I just love kissing!
Sunday, November 26, 2006
The Good, The Bad & The Ugly
The last two weeks have been interesting. I am once again reminded why I don't go out very often where I live, and why I dislike it here so much.
About two weeks ago one of the girls I work with invited me to go out with her. At first I was all gung-ho to finally have a chance to get out of the house. Party time! A chance to let go of some steam and stress, and actually socialize for a change. Since that Wednesday night, I have been out 5 times. That's more than I've been out in a year and a half. I think I have been trying to play "catch-up", lol
Night #1 was great! I had one too many drinks, got to flirt, dance, and overall just have a good time. The next day was a bit of a bitch, because I had to deal with a wicked hangover, but it was worth it. Two days later came Night Out #2 - I was feeling great because I suddenly felt like maybe this place wouldn't be so bad. The bar I am going to is the only country bar in town, and while it's not Texas, it's better than most of the other bars in town. They have a different live band every week, and I would much prefer a live band to a DJ, or the radio piped in over the loud speakers. Anyway...
Night out #2 proved to be interesting. I had to work the next day, but I was determined not to let that stop me from drinking and having a good time. On this night I had 5 different men ask me to dance, which is unusual for me - not that I'm complaining. I also had someone to flirt with, which only added to the fun of the evening, and I couldn't resist giving him a yummy smooch when the night was over. He also invited me back to his place for "breakfast", which I had to turn down, because I was only going to get about 3 hours of sleep as it was, and I had to be to work in the morning. Not to mention that I'm not allowed to have intercourse right now (Doctor's orders) because of these freakin' surgeries. I have to say these surgeries are really putting a damper on the ol' fun meter! :( Anyway...
I spent the weekend working and recovering from these two nights out, then come Monday I get a call to go out to karaoke. Unfortunately, the karaoke deal didn't work out, which was determined after hitting 3 different bars in town that were supposed to have it, but didn't. So we ended up back at the country bar. This was also an interesting night. Given that it was a Monday night, things were pretty low key - not a lot of people go out on Monday nights, but there was still a live band, so I kicked back, had a few drinks, and listened to the band. At one point I think our waitress forgot about us, and I was getting thirsty, so I walked over to the bar to get a drink. While I'm standing there waiting for the bartender, the man sitting next to me starts talking to me. He had a few drinks in him, but it was clear that he was trying to flirt with me. As you already know, I love to flirt. I do, however, have my limits. I tend to steer clear of really drunk men who can't keep their hands to themselves, and this guy was very 'touchy-feely'. I tried to remain polite while fending off his hands, and then he looks at me and starts telling me what a good looking woman I am. He's even apologizing to me at this point for touching me, and then pops the question: "Are you married?"
Now he's hitting on me big time, and pretty much telling me that he wants to screw me. When I tell him I'm married, he says he respects that, but continues to see if there's a way to get around the whole married deal. I have to laugh at this, because I'm the one with the open marraige, but I can't have sex right now, damn it! This man is actually attractive, and through the course of conversation I find out he's also from Texas, which is a plus! The more I talk to him, the more I like him, and I'm thinking to myself, there's other ways to have sex besides only intercourse, but I really didn't want to have to explain why I can't have intercourse, and since I had only just met him, I couldn't trust that he would understand or have enough self-control to hold off on intercourse, so I continued to use being married as an excuse to say no.
As the evening wears on, he's not giving up on the whole flirting thing as he continues to suck down his drinks. We danced, and I have to say he is an excellent dancer. He was also most definitely persistent. I can't begin to count how many times he told me what a good looking woman I was, lol - and he kept trying to see if he'd have a chance with me. I have to confess, this country bar has been really good for my ego the last three nights I've been there. :)
Finally the bar turns on the lights. It's time to go home. As my girlfriend and I are walking out to her car, we see a very drunk Texas Dude sitting in his vehicle looking really lost. My girlfriend and I looked at each other in agreement that this guy shouldn't be behind the wheel, so we offered to drive him home. I moved him over to his passenger seat, and I got in his car and drove him home, while my girlfriend followed us.
So, this guy for the most part, while I liked him, was rather obnoxious that night. I chalked it up to his alcohol consumption and the bar atmosphere, and I guess I was right, because when we got into his car he became a completely different person. He actually became calm and sincere, although he wasn't giving up on wanting to take me home, lol On the ride to his house, I came to realize that this man was very lonely. As we were driving, he grabbed my hand and held it for the entire ride, while he proceeded to tell me about his life. I found out that he has been married five times, and most of his wives only married him for his money. On the financial note, I found out this guy is actually a millionaire - imagine my surprise on that one! When he said his marriages never work out, I couldn't help but ask why, and he said it was because he's never home because of his company. Then he looks at me all serious and says I really am a beautiful woman, and to tell my husband what a lucky man he is, and that he has the best looking woman in the state. (A message I did pass on to hubby, lol) Of course, then he starts telling me how he could satisfy me, because he's very attentive in bed, adding that he's sure I want to be with him too. When we got to where he was staying, he pulled me to him and kissed me. Damn! Why do men have to do that?!? Here I am trying to behave myself, and he's got to kiss me and give me those damn tingles! Ah well, I couldn't stay - the whole "can't have sex" issue blaring at me, so I said goodnight and left.
I have to say that I wouldn't mind running into Texas Dude again. Something tells me he's a really great guy when he's sober, and I wouldn't mind getting to know him better on a friendly level. Of course, I wouldn't mind jumping his bones either! ;) hehe I guess if I'm meant to see him again, I will, right?
That brings us to Night Out #4 - which is the turn around night. I'm starting to believe that you are only entitled to a few great nights before things start turning sour, because on night out #4 things really turned to S#!T! To start with, the last few nights out were starting to take their toll on me. When I went out that night, I was tired. I was also depressed because I was thinking about my life and how unhappy I have been, and I was thinking about Sexy Man and how happy he made me. That's a bad combination, because I started yearning for what I can't have. And then, to make matters worse, I was designated driver that night, so I couldn't drink. Plus I had to work the next morning, and it was Thanksgiving, and that meant I had to spend a holiday alone, which is a real bummer all its own. Needless to say, my mood was a bit in the dumps.
We went to the country bar again, which was fine. And when I got there, the guy I flirted with the week prior was there, and he barely said two words to me. Apparently he found out I was married, and that didn't sit well with him. Now I'm not one to moan and cry over spilt milk. If this guy doesn't want to talk to me, or do anything else for that matter, because I'm married, that's his problem, not mine. I also respect the fact that he won't get involved with a married woman. Not everyone is into the whole "sharing" thing.
Well, I sat there for the majority of the eveninig, minding my own business, and watching my charges of the evening getting drunk, trying to enjoy myself the best I can given my crappy mood. I made attempts at laughing and goofing around, trying to have a good time. Then one of the girls tells me there's a party after the bar closes, and she really wants to go. I have to work the next morning, and I'm really tired at this point, so I told her I really wanted to go home and get some sleep. Then the guy that won't touch me because I'm married asks me if I'm going to this party. I said, probably not, and that there really wasn't anything there to motivate me into going. He tells me that if I go, he'll make it worth my while. Far be it for me to be a party-pooper, so I agree to go to this party for a little bit, and I can't help but be really curious what this guy has in mind to make it worth my while. We leave, and somewhere between the door of the bar and my vehicle, we picked up an additional passenger too, and then we all headed out to the party.
When we get to the party, it seemed like the whole bar had shown up. There were a lot of peeps there. Okay, so we go inside, and were all mulling around. There was no smoking inside the house, so I went outside to have a ciggy. The passenger we had picked up earlier follows me outside to join me for a smoke, and we get to talking. He looks at me and tells me that I need to lighten up. Mind you, I'm just standing there smoking a cigarette. And given the day I've had, I think I'm doing pretty damn good in the "lightening up" department. Then he tells me that he saw me walk into the bar that night, and he was watching me all night. He said he had wanted to ask me to dance, but apparently I had this, "I'm a bitch, don't f*#K with me" look on my face all night. Doh! I tried explaining that I was having a bad day, and that I'm really not a bitch. He says, "I know, I can see that in your eyes, but you need to lighten up." So, I tried to do just that.
After our smokes, we go back inside and find the group we were hanging with. We were there about an hour at this point, and I had seen the guy that taunted me to come to this party in the first place, only he's avoiding me. Who needs this, right? Don't ask me to come to a party and tell me you'll make it worth my while, then ignore me. Finally, I plopped myself in a corner and I was watching everyone else having a good time, when he finally comes over and starts talking to me. We got into the whole married issue, and he tells me that he's not into screwing over another guy, which again, I can appreciate. At first I started explaining to him my whole open marraige thing, but then I decided it wasn't worth it, because I can't have sex anyway. Then he starts talking to some friends of his who had joined us. I'm just sitting there minding my own business. Next thing I know, he turns to me and tells me to lighten up. Geeezzzz! What is it with these people?? I tried to soften the look on my face, and then he tells me that I have the personality of four blank walls. OUCH! I ask you, who needs this shit?!?! I start to get up and walk away, and he stops me and says he's sorry, that he didn't mean it like that, that he only meant I needed to "lighten up". He goes back to talking to his friends, and I'm very hurt and frustrated at this point.
I continue to sit there, because I promised my group I would wait for them. Then this new guy walks up to me, stands next to me watching the party going on, and asks me point blank, "You're a dike, aren't you?" OMG! I could have started crying on the spot! I managed to maintain my composer, and I asked him what made him think that. He said it was the way I carried myself. I told him, if he meant was I into women, yes, but that I was also very much into men. He looked at me in surprise, like he would have never pegged me as a man lover. OUCH, again! I decided then and there that it was time to leave.
I have never thought of myself to look even remotely dike-ish. While, for the most part, I don't hide the fact that I am bi, I consider myself to be very feminine. I try to look nice when I go out, I wear my hair long, I have long nails, I always wear make-up when I go out, and if anything I try to dress with style and class, in a very feminine way. I also consider myself to be fun-loving, usually full of smiles and laughter, but all the sudden I am a bitch, a dike, and I have the personality of four blank walls. I was so hurt and upset at this point that I walked out to my car and cried.
Eventually my girlfriends and our extra passenger made it out to the car, and we finally left. I could definitely have gone my whole life without a night like that. I feel very out of my element here, and miss my friends and my life in Texas. At least my friends down there love me, regardless of my mood.
As for Night Out #5, well, it was another very low key night. I drank, tried not to seem like a bitch or a dike, and simply tried to enjoy myself. But after the night out prior to that, I have decided that I don't fit in here. While I will continue to go out simply because I need to get out of the house, I will still set my sights on getting back to that place and my friends whom I love so dearly down in Texas.
About two weeks ago one of the girls I work with invited me to go out with her. At first I was all gung-ho to finally have a chance to get out of the house. Party time! A chance to let go of some steam and stress, and actually socialize for a change. Since that Wednesday night, I have been out 5 times. That's more than I've been out in a year and a half. I think I have been trying to play "catch-up", lol
Night #1 was great! I had one too many drinks, got to flirt, dance, and overall just have a good time. The next day was a bit of a bitch, because I had to deal with a wicked hangover, but it was worth it. Two days later came Night Out #2 - I was feeling great because I suddenly felt like maybe this place wouldn't be so bad. The bar I am going to is the only country bar in town, and while it's not Texas, it's better than most of the other bars in town. They have a different live band every week, and I would much prefer a live band to a DJ, or the radio piped in over the loud speakers. Anyway...
Night out #2 proved to be interesting. I had to work the next day, but I was determined not to let that stop me from drinking and having a good time. On this night I had 5 different men ask me to dance, which is unusual for me - not that I'm complaining. I also had someone to flirt with, which only added to the fun of the evening, and I couldn't resist giving him a yummy smooch when the night was over. He also invited me back to his place for "breakfast", which I had to turn down, because I was only going to get about 3 hours of sleep as it was, and I had to be to work in the morning. Not to mention that I'm not allowed to have intercourse right now (Doctor's orders) because of these freakin' surgeries. I have to say these surgeries are really putting a damper on the ol' fun meter! :( Anyway...
I spent the weekend working and recovering from these two nights out, then come Monday I get a call to go out to karaoke. Unfortunately, the karaoke deal didn't work out, which was determined after hitting 3 different bars in town that were supposed to have it, but didn't. So we ended up back at the country bar. This was also an interesting night. Given that it was a Monday night, things were pretty low key - not a lot of people go out on Monday nights, but there was still a live band, so I kicked back, had a few drinks, and listened to the band. At one point I think our waitress forgot about us, and I was getting thirsty, so I walked over to the bar to get a drink. While I'm standing there waiting for the bartender, the man sitting next to me starts talking to me. He had a few drinks in him, but it was clear that he was trying to flirt with me. As you already know, I love to flirt. I do, however, have my limits. I tend to steer clear of really drunk men who can't keep their hands to themselves, and this guy was very 'touchy-feely'. I tried to remain polite while fending off his hands, and then he looks at me and starts telling me what a good looking woman I am. He's even apologizing to me at this point for touching me, and then pops the question: "Are you married?"
Now he's hitting on me big time, and pretty much telling me that he wants to screw me. When I tell him I'm married, he says he respects that, but continues to see if there's a way to get around the whole married deal. I have to laugh at this, because I'm the one with the open marraige, but I can't have sex right now, damn it! This man is actually attractive, and through the course of conversation I find out he's also from Texas, which is a plus! The more I talk to him, the more I like him, and I'm thinking to myself, there's other ways to have sex besides only intercourse, but I really didn't want to have to explain why I can't have intercourse, and since I had only just met him, I couldn't trust that he would understand or have enough self-control to hold off on intercourse, so I continued to use being married as an excuse to say no.
As the evening wears on, he's not giving up on the whole flirting thing as he continues to suck down his drinks. We danced, and I have to say he is an excellent dancer. He was also most definitely persistent. I can't begin to count how many times he told me what a good looking woman I was, lol - and he kept trying to see if he'd have a chance with me. I have to confess, this country bar has been really good for my ego the last three nights I've been there. :)
Finally the bar turns on the lights. It's time to go home. As my girlfriend and I are walking out to her car, we see a very drunk Texas Dude sitting in his vehicle looking really lost. My girlfriend and I looked at each other in agreement that this guy shouldn't be behind the wheel, so we offered to drive him home. I moved him over to his passenger seat, and I got in his car and drove him home, while my girlfriend followed us.
So, this guy for the most part, while I liked him, was rather obnoxious that night. I chalked it up to his alcohol consumption and the bar atmosphere, and I guess I was right, because when we got into his car he became a completely different person. He actually became calm and sincere, although he wasn't giving up on wanting to take me home, lol On the ride to his house, I came to realize that this man was very lonely. As we were driving, he grabbed my hand and held it for the entire ride, while he proceeded to tell me about his life. I found out that he has been married five times, and most of his wives only married him for his money. On the financial note, I found out this guy is actually a millionaire - imagine my surprise on that one! When he said his marriages never work out, I couldn't help but ask why, and he said it was because he's never home because of his company. Then he looks at me all serious and says I really am a beautiful woman, and to tell my husband what a lucky man he is, and that he has the best looking woman in the state. (A message I did pass on to hubby, lol) Of course, then he starts telling me how he could satisfy me, because he's very attentive in bed, adding that he's sure I want to be with him too. When we got to where he was staying, he pulled me to him and kissed me. Damn! Why do men have to do that?!? Here I am trying to behave myself, and he's got to kiss me and give me those damn tingles! Ah well, I couldn't stay - the whole "can't have sex" issue blaring at me, so I said goodnight and left.
I have to say that I wouldn't mind running into Texas Dude again. Something tells me he's a really great guy when he's sober, and I wouldn't mind getting to know him better on a friendly level. Of course, I wouldn't mind jumping his bones either! ;) hehe I guess if I'm meant to see him again, I will, right?
That brings us to Night Out #4 - which is the turn around night. I'm starting to believe that you are only entitled to a few great nights before things start turning sour, because on night out #4 things really turned to S#!T! To start with, the last few nights out were starting to take their toll on me. When I went out that night, I was tired. I was also depressed because I was thinking about my life and how unhappy I have been, and I was thinking about Sexy Man and how happy he made me. That's a bad combination, because I started yearning for what I can't have. And then, to make matters worse, I was designated driver that night, so I couldn't drink. Plus I had to work the next morning, and it was Thanksgiving, and that meant I had to spend a holiday alone, which is a real bummer all its own. Needless to say, my mood was a bit in the dumps.
We went to the country bar again, which was fine. And when I got there, the guy I flirted with the week prior was there, and he barely said two words to me. Apparently he found out I was married, and that didn't sit well with him. Now I'm not one to moan and cry over spilt milk. If this guy doesn't want to talk to me, or do anything else for that matter, because I'm married, that's his problem, not mine. I also respect the fact that he won't get involved with a married woman. Not everyone is into the whole "sharing" thing.
Well, I sat there for the majority of the eveninig, minding my own business, and watching my charges of the evening getting drunk, trying to enjoy myself the best I can given my crappy mood. I made attempts at laughing and goofing around, trying to have a good time. Then one of the girls tells me there's a party after the bar closes, and she really wants to go. I have to work the next morning, and I'm really tired at this point, so I told her I really wanted to go home and get some sleep. Then the guy that won't touch me because I'm married asks me if I'm going to this party. I said, probably not, and that there really wasn't anything there to motivate me into going. He tells me that if I go, he'll make it worth my while. Far be it for me to be a party-pooper, so I agree to go to this party for a little bit, and I can't help but be really curious what this guy has in mind to make it worth my while. We leave, and somewhere between the door of the bar and my vehicle, we picked up an additional passenger too, and then we all headed out to the party.
When we get to the party, it seemed like the whole bar had shown up. There were a lot of peeps there. Okay, so we go inside, and were all mulling around. There was no smoking inside the house, so I went outside to have a ciggy. The passenger we had picked up earlier follows me outside to join me for a smoke, and we get to talking. He looks at me and tells me that I need to lighten up. Mind you, I'm just standing there smoking a cigarette. And given the day I've had, I think I'm doing pretty damn good in the "lightening up" department. Then he tells me that he saw me walk into the bar that night, and he was watching me all night. He said he had wanted to ask me to dance, but apparently I had this, "I'm a bitch, don't f*#K with me" look on my face all night. Doh! I tried explaining that I was having a bad day, and that I'm really not a bitch. He says, "I know, I can see that in your eyes, but you need to lighten up." So, I tried to do just that.
After our smokes, we go back inside and find the group we were hanging with. We were there about an hour at this point, and I had seen the guy that taunted me to come to this party in the first place, only he's avoiding me. Who needs this, right? Don't ask me to come to a party and tell me you'll make it worth my while, then ignore me. Finally, I plopped myself in a corner and I was watching everyone else having a good time, when he finally comes over and starts talking to me. We got into the whole married issue, and he tells me that he's not into screwing over another guy, which again, I can appreciate. At first I started explaining to him my whole open marraige thing, but then I decided it wasn't worth it, because I can't have sex anyway. Then he starts talking to some friends of his who had joined us. I'm just sitting there minding my own business. Next thing I know, he turns to me and tells me to lighten up. Geeezzzz! What is it with these people?? I tried to soften the look on my face, and then he tells me that I have the personality of four blank walls. OUCH! I ask you, who needs this shit?!?! I start to get up and walk away, and he stops me and says he's sorry, that he didn't mean it like that, that he only meant I needed to "lighten up". He goes back to talking to his friends, and I'm very hurt and frustrated at this point.
I continue to sit there, because I promised my group I would wait for them. Then this new guy walks up to me, stands next to me watching the party going on, and asks me point blank, "You're a dike, aren't you?" OMG! I could have started crying on the spot! I managed to maintain my composer, and I asked him what made him think that. He said it was the way I carried myself. I told him, if he meant was I into women, yes, but that I was also very much into men. He looked at me in surprise, like he would have never pegged me as a man lover. OUCH, again! I decided then and there that it was time to leave.
I have never thought of myself to look even remotely dike-ish. While, for the most part, I don't hide the fact that I am bi, I consider myself to be very feminine. I try to look nice when I go out, I wear my hair long, I have long nails, I always wear make-up when I go out, and if anything I try to dress with style and class, in a very feminine way. I also consider myself to be fun-loving, usually full of smiles and laughter, but all the sudden I am a bitch, a dike, and I have the personality of four blank walls. I was so hurt and upset at this point that I walked out to my car and cried.
Eventually my girlfriends and our extra passenger made it out to the car, and we finally left. I could definitely have gone my whole life without a night like that. I feel very out of my element here, and miss my friends and my life in Texas. At least my friends down there love me, regardless of my mood.
As for Night Out #5, well, it was another very low key night. I drank, tried not to seem like a bitch or a dike, and simply tried to enjoy myself. But after the night out prior to that, I have decided that I don't fit in here. While I will continue to go out simply because I need to get out of the house, I will still set my sights on getting back to that place and my friends whom I love so dearly down in Texas.
Thursday, November 16, 2006
Ugh - One too many
Man oh man - my head is pounding today. So much for the theory that I can keep up with the best of them, lol Aside from the margaritas I have been enjoying recently, I really haven't done much drinking at all over the last year and half. For anyone reading my posts, you would probably think that's all I do is drink, but it really isn't. For the most part, at least in the past, I only drink when I go out with friends to bars, which down in Texas was about once week. Here where I live now, going out is a rare event. It's more like once every six months! Given all the surgeries I've had recently, I have also been on pain meds and I avoid alcohol like the plague when I'm on pain killers. It has been about three weeks since I have had to take any though, so I figured I'd be safe to drink last night.
I did enjoy myself last night. I really needed to get out of the house and have some fun. I was a little surprised when the girl from work called and invited me out. She and I have actually known each other for almost 12 years (I lived here before), but we work together, and some stuff that happened at work over the summer practically destroyed our friendship. She is my relief at work, meaning she relieves me when my shift is over. Well, the other day, after I found out that I needed surgery again, she came in for her shift, and I sort of lost it. I started sobbing and telling her how much I hated my life. Basically I unloaded all my misery on her, and I guess she took pity on me, which is probably why she asked me out. I am glad she did. We had fun last night, and I can only hope that won't be the last of it. I really need some balance in my life of fun on top of all this solitude. And aside from working different shifts, she also works the weekends and holidays like I do, so she would really be the ideal person for me to go out with during the weeks.
I think it is time for me to take a nap. I got a call from work yesterday asking me if I could cover someone else's shift tonight, so I need to try to get rid of this hangover before I go in, lol
I did enjoy myself last night. I really needed to get out of the house and have some fun. I was a little surprised when the girl from work called and invited me out. She and I have actually known each other for almost 12 years (I lived here before), but we work together, and some stuff that happened at work over the summer practically destroyed our friendship. She is my relief at work, meaning she relieves me when my shift is over. Well, the other day, after I found out that I needed surgery again, she came in for her shift, and I sort of lost it. I started sobbing and telling her how much I hated my life. Basically I unloaded all my misery on her, and I guess she took pity on me, which is probably why she asked me out. I am glad she did. We had fun last night, and I can only hope that won't be the last of it. I really need some balance in my life of fun on top of all this solitude. And aside from working different shifts, she also works the weekends and holidays like I do, so she would really be the ideal person for me to go out with during the weeks.
I think it is time for me to take a nap. I got a call from work yesterday asking me if I could cover someone else's shift tonight, so I need to try to get rid of this hangover before I go in, lol
It's about time!
It has been at least 6 months since I have gone out and done any partying. :( For the first time in a very long time I went out tonight with a gal from work, and I don't mind saying, I'm BLITZED! Okay, so it's not very "Lady" like, but hey, it's been way too long - I have a lot of catching up to do! LOL I even had men flirting with me tonight, one of the guys from the band no less, and that felt great! The place I went was a country bar, with a live band. Of course, I've heard better, but they really weren't THAT bad. The only bummer was that it was quite evident that I wasn't in Texas, but it was better than what I've not had over the last 6 months, so I won't complain. I just wanted to say - thanks! I needed that!
I also have to say that as a norm, I am a Jack & Coke and tequila kind of gal. But they weren't offering the Jack on the $10 all you can drink menu, so I had to settle for Black Velvet instead. It wasn't that bad - I could get used to it for the sake of Ladies night ~hehe~ I did have to pay extra for the tequila, but it was worth it too!
Time to pass out! lol
Love & Snuggles!
I also have to say that as a norm, I am a Jack & Coke and tequila kind of gal. But they weren't offering the Jack on the $10 all you can drink menu, so I had to settle for Black Velvet instead. It wasn't that bad - I could get used to it for the sake of Ladies night ~hehe~ I did have to pay extra for the tequila, but it was worth it too!
Time to pass out! lol
Love & Snuggles!
Tuesday, November 14, 2006
Margaritas & Memories - part 4
I have to tell you, it feels good to remember my times in Texas – especially my last year there, and specifically my time with Sexy Man. It is like much needed therapy for me. For well over a year now I have been experiencing severe depression. Remembering the good times has brought me a moment of happiness.
My life and my way of thinking have changed drastically over the last two years, which you will come to understand if you continue reading my blog. I have been trying to decide if those changes are of the good variety, or the bad.
On the one hand, I keep telling myself they have been good changes, because they blessed me with some of the happiest moments of my life to date. On the other hand, it has created a great deal of sadness when it comes to my marriage, because I am no longer happy or content with my life the way it is anymore. The separation from Hubby, and the time spent with Sexy Man during that separation, really opened my eyes to what I want for my life. But we don’t always get what we want, and trying to determine what is fair anymore has created a serious dilemma in my life.
I am hoping by sharing all these life changing events, it will help me to make some sense of my life and maybe help me to determine where I go from here. Hell, I don’t even know if anyone is really reading these posts, so for all I know, I’m just talking to myself. Even still, somehow I feel that sharing these experiences, whether someone else is reading about them or not, is helping me to validate them simply because I am placing them in public access.
Maybe one day I will get my life figured out. Hopefully that day will be soon, because I can’t take much more of my life the way it is. In the meantime, I will keep sharing my memories and my frustrations, and trying to sort things out. Goodness knows this form of therapy is far cheaper than seeing a psychiatrist. The only question is: will it help?
Pour me another margarita!
As you have probably surmised, my first intimate encounter with Sexy Man knocked my socks off. For the next few days afterwards, I walked around with a stupid smile on my face! It was probably a good thing that I spent so much time alone at home, because I would have been hard-put to have to explain it to anyone.
For starters, Hubby and I have always kept our extracurricular partner’s away from the eyes and ears of our son, for obvious reasons. Where Roomy was concerned, he worked with Sexy Man, and sharing our encounter could have its definite drawbacks on the job. Plus, I was just so happy after months of being unhappy, and didn’t want to share it with anyone else – I wanted to revel in the excitement of it without anyone else’s interference. Under normal circumstances, I would have run straight to Hubby and told him all about it. Then he and I would have had one of our own intimate encounters. But things with Hubby were not normal anymore. I had this feeling that telling Hubby would only kill my emotional high, so I kept it to myself for the time being, with the intention of eventually letting him in on it.
Around the middle of the week following my encounter with Sexy Man, I started wondering when I was going to see him again. The weekend was coming up, so I decided to call him to see if he would be going to the watering hole one night over the weekend. I had never called him before – it was usually the guys that called each other to arrange our nights out, so I felt a little awkward about it. He was married too, after all, and I had no idea how his wife would feel about another woman calling him. But my curiosity got the better of me, and I decided to try calling him around the time he would be getting off of work, with the hope that Wifey wouldn’t be around.
[Sexy Man and I have a common interest in karaoke. Several months prior to our encounter he had given me his cell phone number. He told me if I ever wanted company at karaoke to give him a call since Hubby really didn’t like to go to karaoke. Being uncomfortable about the whole marriage issue, I never called him. If I knew then what I know now…all that time wasted *sighs* Ironically enough, Sexy Man and I still have never been to karaoke together. Strange, but true.]
When Sexy Man answered the phone that day, I began to feel all the excitement of our last evening together welling up inside me. Of course I wondered if he had thought about me since that night, but I didn’t ask. I was trying to be all cool, calm, and collected, hoping I didn’t come across as some overly eager school girl. In a voice as calm as you please, I said Hi, told him what a good time I had the other night, and asked him if he had plans to go out that weekend. He said he enjoyed himself also, and asked when I planned on going out, then told me he would meet me there. It was a short conversation, but when we hung up I was so excited I could have had an orgasm on the spot!
For the next few days I bounced around the house doing all my homebound duties, until the time came for me to start getting ready to go out that Saturday night. It is amazing the things one will do when they are preparing for an evening with the hopes of attracting and impressing a certain someone. I went out that day and got a pedicure and my nails done. I gave myself a facial, shaved my leg and other intimate areas, making sure things were baby smooth (as opposed to the usual quick swipes with the razor). I spent time on my make-up and hair, and laid out my clothes ever so carefully, meticulously choosing my jewelry, making sure everything was perfect.
About a half hour before it was time to go, I called a cab for a pick-up (which I was in the habit of doing now, because I refuse to drink and drive). While I was waiting for the cab, I headed back to the mirror to take one more look to make sure everything was in place, and while I was standing there, it hit me. What was I doing?? It was like I had gotten ready for a date. I’m not supposed to be dating. I’m already married. Then the doubts started kicking in. That one evening we spent together was fabulous! But suddenly it felt very taboo, like I was doing something I shouldn’t be doing, and if I went any further, I was going to be asking for trouble. In that moment, I decided to call the cab company and cancel my ride. I picked up my cell phone and no sooner started to dial, when a horn blared outside announcing my cabs arrival. Crap!
Well, I decided to go ahead and take the cab to the watering hole. I reasoned that Sexy Man and I had been partying together for over a year, and I wasn’t the type who enjoyed standing up friends. I have had that happen more than once to me, and I have to say it’s not a pleasant feeling. Besides, I’m in control, right? Right? I don’t have to do anything I don’t feel comfortable with, and I’m sure if I explain things to him, he will understand. Right?
On the ride from my house to the watering hole, I started to get this nervous feeling in the pit of my stomach. I continued to attempt to convince myself that he would understand, all the while feeling really uneasy about even seeing him again. Then the cab pulled up in front of the watering hole, I paid the driver and went inside.
When I got inside, after paying my cover charge, I started heading to the bar for my first drink of the night, which I had decided was going to be a strong one. I needed a drink, and bad. (Gotta love that liquid courage!) Before I got to the bar, I spotted him standing there getting his own drink. It was like he sensed I was there, and he turned his head towards me and gave me one of his sexy smiles. Suddenly all my worries melted away like they never existed.
He looked so good that night. And if I didn’t know any better, I swear he prepared for our “date” like I did, in a manly way, of course. His hair looked great, he shaved his face baby smooth, he smelled heavenly, and he was actually dressed up more than usual – yes, I believe I was definitely on a date.
The energy running between us that night was incredibly high. We didn’t do the ol’ make-out routine like we had the previous Saturday night, but it was obvious that our chemistry was extremely compatible. Everything was much more subtle though. We flirted, touched each other in soft and sensual ways, kissed each other with definite intentions, and teased each other at every opportunity. We laughed and talked, getting to know each other on a more intimate level. It was, by all accounts, the absolute best date I have ever been on.
Eventually Sexy Man decided it was time to go, because it was getting late. He offered to give me a ride again, which I accepted, of course. After opening my door for me, and making sure I was tucked safely inside his car (he is such a gentleman), he got into the car himself, and before leaving, he gave me another one of those deep passionate kisses. Then we pulled out of the parking lot, and started heading to my house. At least, that’s where I thought we were going.
Somewhere between the watering hole and my house, Sexy Man decided to take a quick right turn, and then a left, and we pulled in behind a small building. That’s when things started to get heavy.
Now that we had some privacy, we immediately got busy with some private matters. Like before, I completely invited his advances. All the hesitations and plans I had to nip this in bud earlier that night were gone. I wanted this man bad! After some major hot and heavy petting, Sexy Man asked me if I wanted to move to the back of the car where there would be more room. Was I about to say no? I don’t think so.
We both got out of the car and started moving toward the back, when Sexy Man grabbed me and started kissing me again. His hands found their way between my thighs, and between his kisses and his caresses, my knees started to get weak again. I thought I was going to pass out, and he realized the affect he was having on me (which no doubt pleased him because he had that kind of satisfied smile on his face), so he opened the back door for us to get in. But before he let me get in, he laid out a blanket for me to lie down on. (Have I mentioned what a gentleman he is?)
Once we were in the back, that’s all she wrote. First the shoes and socks, then the shirts and pants, until we’re both down to our underclothes (less my bra, because I wasn’t wearing one that night)– all the while sharing those kisses that give me the tingles from head to toe. Then I asked him to lie down on his back, and I removed his briefs - OH MY! I was so ready for THAT! His size and circumference was beautiful! I couldn’t resist taking him in my mouth. He didn’t allow that for long though, and he pulled me to him and kissed me again, while strategically placing me over his beautiful member.
I am here to tell you that I have never felt something so heavenly! When I slid down on him, it took my breath away. The only problem though was that I was having trouble moving because I had a ceiling in my way, so Sexy Man rolls me over on my back, and is just about to get back to business when…wait…you are not going to believe this. The timing on this one is so incredibly shitty.
Just as Sexy Man is on his way to warm, wet bliss…my cell phone rings, and at the same time, his cell phone rings, and guess who were on the phones?? You guessed it – his Wifey and my Hubby. Could their timing have been any worse? Neither one of us will ignore a call from the spouses, especially that late at night. So Sexy Man pulls on his pants and heads outside to talk to Wifey, and I dig my cell phone out of my bag to talk to Hubby.
Remember, I haven’t told Hubby yet what has transpired between Sexy Man and me. When I answered the phone, I was breathing pretty heavily. Hubby says, “Whatcha doin’?” He knew immediately what was going on, and given our open marriage, he asks me to lay the phone down so he can listen. Meanwhile, as I’m having this conversation with Hubby, I look outside to see Sexy Man having his conversation with Wifey, and he shoots me this look like he’s really perturbed. In that moment, I knew the night was over, and I told Hubby I didn’t think there was going to be anything to listen to, and that I would call him when I got home. Unfortunately, I was right about it being the end of our night together. Sexy Man opens the door after hanging up with Wifey and says he needs to get home. May I just say - Damn!
While Sexy Man and I are outside putting our clothes back on, he grabs me and kisses me again, then apologizes for having to go home. What could I say – if you have to go, you have to go. Needless to say, when I got home my toy box was calling to me in a big way. I called Hubby and told him what had transpired, and Hubby said he was sorry that he had interrupted us, but that he was worried about me. Then we proceeded to have phone sex while I buzzed my way to an orgasm.
I went to sleep that night somewhat disappointed, yet very happy at the same time. That might not make much sense, but even with the bummer ending, it was still the best date I have ever had. Besides, somehow I knew that wouldn’t be the last time I saw Sexy Man. The little taste of each other we did get that night only begged for more – for both of us.
Stay tuned – more on the way…
My life and my way of thinking have changed drastically over the last two years, which you will come to understand if you continue reading my blog. I have been trying to decide if those changes are of the good variety, or the bad.
On the one hand, I keep telling myself they have been good changes, because they blessed me with some of the happiest moments of my life to date. On the other hand, it has created a great deal of sadness when it comes to my marriage, because I am no longer happy or content with my life the way it is anymore. The separation from Hubby, and the time spent with Sexy Man during that separation, really opened my eyes to what I want for my life. But we don’t always get what we want, and trying to determine what is fair anymore has created a serious dilemma in my life.
I am hoping by sharing all these life changing events, it will help me to make some sense of my life and maybe help me to determine where I go from here. Hell, I don’t even know if anyone is really reading these posts, so for all I know, I’m just talking to myself. Even still, somehow I feel that sharing these experiences, whether someone else is reading about them or not, is helping me to validate them simply because I am placing them in public access.
Maybe one day I will get my life figured out. Hopefully that day will be soon, because I can’t take much more of my life the way it is. In the meantime, I will keep sharing my memories and my frustrations, and trying to sort things out. Goodness knows this form of therapy is far cheaper than seeing a psychiatrist. The only question is: will it help?
Pour me another margarita!
As you have probably surmised, my first intimate encounter with Sexy Man knocked my socks off. For the next few days afterwards, I walked around with a stupid smile on my face! It was probably a good thing that I spent so much time alone at home, because I would have been hard-put to have to explain it to anyone.
For starters, Hubby and I have always kept our extracurricular partner’s away from the eyes and ears of our son, for obvious reasons. Where Roomy was concerned, he worked with Sexy Man, and sharing our encounter could have its definite drawbacks on the job. Plus, I was just so happy after months of being unhappy, and didn’t want to share it with anyone else – I wanted to revel in the excitement of it without anyone else’s interference. Under normal circumstances, I would have run straight to Hubby and told him all about it. Then he and I would have had one of our own intimate encounters. But things with Hubby were not normal anymore. I had this feeling that telling Hubby would only kill my emotional high, so I kept it to myself for the time being, with the intention of eventually letting him in on it.
Around the middle of the week following my encounter with Sexy Man, I started wondering when I was going to see him again. The weekend was coming up, so I decided to call him to see if he would be going to the watering hole one night over the weekend. I had never called him before – it was usually the guys that called each other to arrange our nights out, so I felt a little awkward about it. He was married too, after all, and I had no idea how his wife would feel about another woman calling him. But my curiosity got the better of me, and I decided to try calling him around the time he would be getting off of work, with the hope that Wifey wouldn’t be around.
[Sexy Man and I have a common interest in karaoke. Several months prior to our encounter he had given me his cell phone number. He told me if I ever wanted company at karaoke to give him a call since Hubby really didn’t like to go to karaoke. Being uncomfortable about the whole marriage issue, I never called him. If I knew then what I know now…all that time wasted *sighs* Ironically enough, Sexy Man and I still have never been to karaoke together. Strange, but true.]
When Sexy Man answered the phone that day, I began to feel all the excitement of our last evening together welling up inside me. Of course I wondered if he had thought about me since that night, but I didn’t ask. I was trying to be all cool, calm, and collected, hoping I didn’t come across as some overly eager school girl. In a voice as calm as you please, I said Hi, told him what a good time I had the other night, and asked him if he had plans to go out that weekend. He said he enjoyed himself also, and asked when I planned on going out, then told me he would meet me there. It was a short conversation, but when we hung up I was so excited I could have had an orgasm on the spot!
For the next few days I bounced around the house doing all my homebound duties, until the time came for me to start getting ready to go out that Saturday night. It is amazing the things one will do when they are preparing for an evening with the hopes of attracting and impressing a certain someone. I went out that day and got a pedicure and my nails done. I gave myself a facial, shaved my leg and other intimate areas, making sure things were baby smooth (as opposed to the usual quick swipes with the razor). I spent time on my make-up and hair, and laid out my clothes ever so carefully, meticulously choosing my jewelry, making sure everything was perfect.
About a half hour before it was time to go, I called a cab for a pick-up (which I was in the habit of doing now, because I refuse to drink and drive). While I was waiting for the cab, I headed back to the mirror to take one more look to make sure everything was in place, and while I was standing there, it hit me. What was I doing?? It was like I had gotten ready for a date. I’m not supposed to be dating. I’m already married. Then the doubts started kicking in. That one evening we spent together was fabulous! But suddenly it felt very taboo, like I was doing something I shouldn’t be doing, and if I went any further, I was going to be asking for trouble. In that moment, I decided to call the cab company and cancel my ride. I picked up my cell phone and no sooner started to dial, when a horn blared outside announcing my cabs arrival. Crap!
Well, I decided to go ahead and take the cab to the watering hole. I reasoned that Sexy Man and I had been partying together for over a year, and I wasn’t the type who enjoyed standing up friends. I have had that happen more than once to me, and I have to say it’s not a pleasant feeling. Besides, I’m in control, right? Right? I don’t have to do anything I don’t feel comfortable with, and I’m sure if I explain things to him, he will understand. Right?
On the ride from my house to the watering hole, I started to get this nervous feeling in the pit of my stomach. I continued to attempt to convince myself that he would understand, all the while feeling really uneasy about even seeing him again. Then the cab pulled up in front of the watering hole, I paid the driver and went inside.
When I got inside, after paying my cover charge, I started heading to the bar for my first drink of the night, which I had decided was going to be a strong one. I needed a drink, and bad. (Gotta love that liquid courage!) Before I got to the bar, I spotted him standing there getting his own drink. It was like he sensed I was there, and he turned his head towards me and gave me one of his sexy smiles. Suddenly all my worries melted away like they never existed.
He looked so good that night. And if I didn’t know any better, I swear he prepared for our “date” like I did, in a manly way, of course. His hair looked great, he shaved his face baby smooth, he smelled heavenly, and he was actually dressed up more than usual – yes, I believe I was definitely on a date.
The energy running between us that night was incredibly high. We didn’t do the ol’ make-out routine like we had the previous Saturday night, but it was obvious that our chemistry was extremely compatible. Everything was much more subtle though. We flirted, touched each other in soft and sensual ways, kissed each other with definite intentions, and teased each other at every opportunity. We laughed and talked, getting to know each other on a more intimate level. It was, by all accounts, the absolute best date I have ever been on.
Eventually Sexy Man decided it was time to go, because it was getting late. He offered to give me a ride again, which I accepted, of course. After opening my door for me, and making sure I was tucked safely inside his car (he is such a gentleman), he got into the car himself, and before leaving, he gave me another one of those deep passionate kisses. Then we pulled out of the parking lot, and started heading to my house. At least, that’s where I thought we were going.
Somewhere between the watering hole and my house, Sexy Man decided to take a quick right turn, and then a left, and we pulled in behind a small building. That’s when things started to get heavy.
Now that we had some privacy, we immediately got busy with some private matters. Like before, I completely invited his advances. All the hesitations and plans I had to nip this in bud earlier that night were gone. I wanted this man bad! After some major hot and heavy petting, Sexy Man asked me if I wanted to move to the back of the car where there would be more room. Was I about to say no? I don’t think so.
We both got out of the car and started moving toward the back, when Sexy Man grabbed me and started kissing me again. His hands found their way between my thighs, and between his kisses and his caresses, my knees started to get weak again. I thought I was going to pass out, and he realized the affect he was having on me (which no doubt pleased him because he had that kind of satisfied smile on his face), so he opened the back door for us to get in. But before he let me get in, he laid out a blanket for me to lie down on. (Have I mentioned what a gentleman he is?)
Once we were in the back, that’s all she wrote. First the shoes and socks, then the shirts and pants, until we’re both down to our underclothes (less my bra, because I wasn’t wearing one that night)– all the while sharing those kisses that give me the tingles from head to toe. Then I asked him to lie down on his back, and I removed his briefs - OH MY! I was so ready for THAT! His size and circumference was beautiful! I couldn’t resist taking him in my mouth. He didn’t allow that for long though, and he pulled me to him and kissed me again, while strategically placing me over his beautiful member.
I am here to tell you that I have never felt something so heavenly! When I slid down on him, it took my breath away. The only problem though was that I was having trouble moving because I had a ceiling in my way, so Sexy Man rolls me over on my back, and is just about to get back to business when…wait…you are not going to believe this. The timing on this one is so incredibly shitty.
Just as Sexy Man is on his way to warm, wet bliss…my cell phone rings, and at the same time, his cell phone rings, and guess who were on the phones?? You guessed it – his Wifey and my Hubby. Could their timing have been any worse? Neither one of us will ignore a call from the spouses, especially that late at night. So Sexy Man pulls on his pants and heads outside to talk to Wifey, and I dig my cell phone out of my bag to talk to Hubby.
Remember, I haven’t told Hubby yet what has transpired between Sexy Man and me. When I answered the phone, I was breathing pretty heavily. Hubby says, “Whatcha doin’?” He knew immediately what was going on, and given our open marriage, he asks me to lay the phone down so he can listen. Meanwhile, as I’m having this conversation with Hubby, I look outside to see Sexy Man having his conversation with Wifey, and he shoots me this look like he’s really perturbed. In that moment, I knew the night was over, and I told Hubby I didn’t think there was going to be anything to listen to, and that I would call him when I got home. Unfortunately, I was right about it being the end of our night together. Sexy Man opens the door after hanging up with Wifey and says he needs to get home. May I just say - Damn!
While Sexy Man and I are outside putting our clothes back on, he grabs me and kisses me again, then apologizes for having to go home. What could I say – if you have to go, you have to go. Needless to say, when I got home my toy box was calling to me in a big way. I called Hubby and told him what had transpired, and Hubby said he was sorry that he had interrupted us, but that he was worried about me. Then we proceeded to have phone sex while I buzzed my way to an orgasm.
I went to sleep that night somewhat disappointed, yet very happy at the same time. That might not make much sense, but even with the bummer ending, it was still the best date I have ever had. Besides, somehow I knew that wouldn’t be the last time I saw Sexy Man. The little taste of each other we did get that night only begged for more – for both of us.
Stay tuned – more on the way…
Sunday, November 12, 2006
Visiting Margaritaville - part 3
Thank the Goddess, it's Friday!
Actually, it is Sunday, but Sunday's are my Friday's, because I work on the weekends. This was a long work weekend, because of Veteran's Day. (I also work all government holidays.)
To the Monday through Friday working person, you might think just working weekends has got to be a breezy job. Yes, I suppose for the most part it is a breezy job. It also pays well. The problem is that it is too breezy. In fact, it is boring as hell. I sit in a 9 x 12 room for 8 to 12 hours by myself, answering the telephone. If that phone were busy, it would be one thing. But on average I receive one hundred calls on any given day, and each call lasts approximately 15 to 30 seconds. The rest of the time, I sit there waiting for the phone to ring. (You do the math. I'm too tired to figure it out tonight. lol)
Like I said, I get paid fairly well for what I do. They have to pay us that well; otherwise no one would continue working there because it is so boring. I don't know of any other job where I can sit on my ass all day, in my slippers no less, and work on craft projects, watch movies, or play on my computer while getting paid well for it. That's the good part. The bad part is that my ass is getting bigger because I sit there munching all day, because I can't smoke at work. I also spend all my time alone. By the end of the day I am so wiped out from all the peace and quiet that I feel utterly exhausted by the time I get home and I just want to go to sleep.
I am so ready to go back to Texas and get my career started up again as a hairdresser. That has been my licensed profession for almost 25 years now. (Boy does that make me sound old!) If I really wanted to, I suppose I could do hair here, but the winters here are really long, and really cold, and driving downtown in the ice and snow really doesn't sound very appealing. Plus, the cost of gas to get back and forth to work would pretty much eat up my paychecks, so it seems like a waste of time and money. Then there is the fact that we will eventually move again, and working hard to build a clientele would only be a waste of time, because it would only mean having to start over yet again. That defeats the purpose of having a career in the hair industry. Needless to say, I have talked myself right out of getting another job in these parts. For now, I guess I will have to stick with this boring job until it is time to move again. And when my work-weekends are over, I'm just going to have to pour myself another margarita! Time for a refill!
Back to my Texas adventures...
Up to this point I have shared with you about the accident, getting a roommate, and the self-discovery that I can have my own identity. Somewhere in here, locked away behind "Wife" and "Mom" was "ME", and I was finally starting to realize that I could have fun in my life without having to be a couple.
For twenty years Hubby and I have almost always gone out together, and he was always the social one. He is one of those people that can go out and talk to anyone, and he makes friends fairly easily. I, on the other hand, am the wall flower. I will sit and watch him move around the room, being the social person that he is, while I sit there hoping someone will talk to me. It's usually nice if even Hubby would talk to me. I honestly think he tends to forget I'm there when we go out.
The friends I have today would probably laugh if I told them how shy I really am. I have a hard time making friends. Put me in a beauty salon and throw clients at me all day, and I can talk up a storm. But put me in a social setting, where I don't really know anyone, and I tend to be very reserved, quiet, and hesitant to put myself out there. I really have to get to know someone before I let the real me come out. I guess a lot of that has to do with fear of being rejected. I spent a good deal of my childhood being teased and rejected by people.
Anyway, now that Hubby was beginning to live as king of his own little world, which apparently was excluding me more and more, it forced me to start creating a world of my own. Somewhere between November when Roomy moved in, and January after Hubby left again, I started to become the social butterfly. I mean that in a literal sense, because this process of life changing events I was experiencing was very much like the caterpillar morphing into the butterfly. And now comes life altering event number three...
It was a Saturday night in the middle of January. Roomy and I had plans to go out that night, but for some reason that I don't remember, I was running late getting ready. Roomy decided to head out without me, because I wasn't anywhere near being ready to go out. We agreed that I would take a cab, and meet him at the watering hole later. I specifically called a cab to schedule a pick-up around 8:30 that evening, but the cab company was running really slow that night and didn't actually pick me up until almost 9:45. Boy did that piss me off. Anyway, the cab finally arrived after numerous calls wanting to know where the hell they were, and I finally got to the watering hole around 10:00 pm.
When I got there I was in a rather pissy mood because of the whole cab thing. As I was walking up to the door, ready to go inside and slam down my first drink to ease my frustration, there was Sexy Man standing outside talking on his cell phone.
Sexy Man was one of the original party buddies Hubby and I had been hanging out with, so by this time, hugs were a norm when we'd see each other. When he saw me that night his eyes lit up, and he wrapped his arms around me giving me a big ol' bear hug. I knew he was pretty well on his way to drunkenville, because he didn't want to let go, and that was unusual. I actually had to push myself away from him.
Finally we go inside, and as was also a normal custom at this point, Sexy Man patted the seat next to him for me to sit down. Sexy Man and I have always gotten along really well. We have a lot in common, so finding things to talk about was really easy for us. From the moment we met, I was also attracted to him, thinking he was really sexy (hence the name, Sexy Man), but I never thought to act on it because he was older than me, and we are both married. I always try to be respectful of other people's marriages, and I don't hit on married men as a general rule. He never brought his wife out with him though. I tried many times to talk him into bringing his wife with him when we went out, because I really wanted to meet her, but I always got this look that said, "Yeah, right."
So there we were, a small group of us that night, sitting in our usual spot, drinking, smoking and joking, when all the sudden Sexy Man starts having this one-on-one conversation with me about sex. I couldn't say how the conversation got started, but the next thing I know, he starts asking me how I like oral sex. This whole conversation has taken me by surprise. This is one subject Sexy Man and I have never touched on. But, hey, I'm an open-minded person, so I allowed the conversation to continue. Then he starts using his hands and tongue to mimic the process of oral sex, asking me if I liked it "this way", or "that way". I'm sitting there thinking, 'Holy shit! He's really drunk!' And I'm wondering if anyone else is seeing this? At the same time, I am beginning to get tingles in the nether-region; the visual aid was making me wet to say the least. Then, because he asked, I shared with him my version of a blowjob.
Mind you, I can have conversations about sex without it actually leading to anything. For some reason, people find it really easy to talk about sex with me, so when they do, I never assume it's because they want to have sex with me. I guess it is because I am so open-minded that people find it easy to discuss the topic with me. While I was having this conversation with Sexy Man, I didn't think it was going to lead to anything. (I think I have self-image issues. Even with the amount of partner's I have had over the years, I never really feel like anyone is attracted to me in that way. I never hear the words pretty, beautiful, or sexy used in a sentence referring to me, so I have pretty much concluded that I am nothing special to look at. It sucks to have this knowledge, but there it is.)
So there we were, Sexy Man and me, having this conversation, and it is having a definite affect on my libido. I was getting horny as hell, and if truth be told, I hadn't had any really great sex in a long time, which wasn't helping matters. But still, I wasn't about to suggest anything, for the above mentioned reasons. When push comes to shove (pardon the pun), I have a toy box at home that helps me out in desperate situations, lol! But then it happened - I got up to head to the ladies room, and before I leave, Sexy Man says to me in a really serious tone, "I don't suppose you would be interested...", and before he finishes that sentence, he says, "No, I don't suppose you would." I looked back at him, and in my own serious tone I said, "Yes. I would be interested." The look on his face told me that he was just as surprised by my consent as I was by his proposition. Then I excused myself and went to the ladies room.
[I suppose now would be a good time to mention the fact that Hubby and I have a somewhat open marriage of sorts. It doesn't work for everyone, but for Hubby and me it is a lifestyle that, in the past, has brought more passion into our personal relationship, so it works for us. At least, it used to. I don't know these days, because things have changed a lot between Hubby and me, but I'll talk about that another day.]
When I returned from the restroom, everyone but Sexy Man was leaving to head to another bar. They asked me to come along, but given the recent turn of events, I feigned the excuse that I wasn't feeling well, and I would be going home shortly. Lie, lie, lie! Of course, I had no intentions of going home just yet. I was too eager to see what was going to transpire between me and Sexy Man! This was around midnight.
After everyone left, I walked up to the table where Sexy Man was standing waiting for me. I don't think we said anything to each other at that point. He pulled me close to him, cocked his head to one side, then with that serious look on his face again, he kissed me. It wasn't any small peck either. That kiss was deep, passionate, and oh so very yummy! Can I just say, if all men kissed their women like that on a regular basis, we women would be total putty in your hands all the time! Needless to say, I turned to jell-o! lol My knees actually got weak, and the tingles were now running from head to toe. I have to tell you, at 42 years old, I have NEVER had a man (or woman, for that matter) kiss me like that. Of course, I was kissing him back, feeding off of the energy that was now in high gear between us. It was magical.
After "the kiss", he looked at me with a big smile on his face, and he told me what a good kisser I was (which is something I've never been told before, so I think I actually blushed, lol), and then he commented on how soft my lips are. (I have full lips. Hubby is always saying they are "DSL" lips.) Then Sexy Man kissed me again. Oh my, just thinking about it right now is revving my motor. ~hehe~
For the rest of the night Sexy Man and I proceeded to make out right there in the watering hole. That's another first for me. I have kissed and been kissed in bars, but never like this. Sexy Man and I were like two teenagers who couldn't get enough of each other. We were all over each other, kissing, feeling each other up, teasing each other mercilessly, and pretty much didn't give a shit who was watching. It was like we were the only two in the room, and if the waitress hadn't stopped by to see if we needed another drink, I think we probably could have had sex right then and there. When I think back on it, anyone still in the bar at that time of night got quite a show. I remember glancing over at the manager at one point, and he looked at me with a big grin on his face, lol! But you know what? I didn't care. I was in the midst of one of the most sexually charged moments I ever had, and I wasn't about to let anything stop it. Until, that is, the lights came on.
The bar was closing. It was time to go home. I started to pout, and Sexy Man took me by the hand and led me outside to his car. He said he would give me a ride home, since I had taken a cab that night. Then he placed me in his vehicle, got in himself, started the car to warm it up, and then turned to me and kissed me passionately again. Only this time, it wasn't like two teenagers, it was like a man and a woman, and let me tell you, in that moment things got really hot between us!
Next thing I know, my jeans are off, my shirt is open and my nipples are hard as a rock as he's sucking on them. I was dripping wet between my thighs as his fingers worked their magic. Then he kissed his way down my belly and began expertly using his tongue, until I had the strongest orgasm I have ever had. Meanwhile, I am trying to pleasure him at the same time, but unlike anyone else I've ever been with, he didn't want me to do anything. I never even got his jeans unzipped, let alone off, because he kept pushing my hand away. He wanted me to lay there and receive. That is another first for me. I'm not used to getting all the attention. If anything, I am used to giving, and not getting anything more than a good hard banging until "he" gets off and rolls over.
Whoa! I think I need another drink! *fans herself to cool down*
When it was all over, he smiled and kissed me again. Oh, what a sexy smile that man has! But, OMG! I actually forgot where I was! LOL As I was getting dressed, it hit me that we were still in the parking lot of the watering hole! I must have really been drunk. I have no idea if anyone saw us. I was totally caught up in the pleasure of his attention! May I just add - it was worth every moment! But, alas, it was time to really go home, so Sexy Man drove me to my house, gave me another yummy kiss goodnight, and then left.
I really thought he would want to come in, so that we could maybe move to a part-two of the evening, but he had a wife to go home to, so I didn't push the issue. It totally amazes me though that we didn't actually have intercourse that first night, and I was even more amazed that he was quite content with that. As I watched him leave, I felt like I was on the best high of my life. I went to sleep that night smiling from ear to ear, and I knew I had to see him again.
To be continued...
Actually, it is Sunday, but Sunday's are my Friday's, because I work on the weekends. This was a long work weekend, because of Veteran's Day. (I also work all government holidays.)
To the Monday through Friday working person, you might think just working weekends has got to be a breezy job. Yes, I suppose for the most part it is a breezy job. It also pays well. The problem is that it is too breezy. In fact, it is boring as hell. I sit in a 9 x 12 room for 8 to 12 hours by myself, answering the telephone. If that phone were busy, it would be one thing. But on average I receive one hundred calls on any given day, and each call lasts approximately 15 to 30 seconds. The rest of the time, I sit there waiting for the phone to ring. (You do the math. I'm too tired to figure it out tonight. lol)
Like I said, I get paid fairly well for what I do. They have to pay us that well; otherwise no one would continue working there because it is so boring. I don't know of any other job where I can sit on my ass all day, in my slippers no less, and work on craft projects, watch movies, or play on my computer while getting paid well for it. That's the good part. The bad part is that my ass is getting bigger because I sit there munching all day, because I can't smoke at work. I also spend all my time alone. By the end of the day I am so wiped out from all the peace and quiet that I feel utterly exhausted by the time I get home and I just want to go to sleep.
I am so ready to go back to Texas and get my career started up again as a hairdresser. That has been my licensed profession for almost 25 years now. (Boy does that make me sound old!) If I really wanted to, I suppose I could do hair here, but the winters here are really long, and really cold, and driving downtown in the ice and snow really doesn't sound very appealing. Plus, the cost of gas to get back and forth to work would pretty much eat up my paychecks, so it seems like a waste of time and money. Then there is the fact that we will eventually move again, and working hard to build a clientele would only be a waste of time, because it would only mean having to start over yet again. That defeats the purpose of having a career in the hair industry. Needless to say, I have talked myself right out of getting another job in these parts. For now, I guess I will have to stick with this boring job until it is time to move again. And when my work-weekends are over, I'm just going to have to pour myself another margarita! Time for a refill!
Back to my Texas adventures...
Up to this point I have shared with you about the accident, getting a roommate, and the self-discovery that I can have my own identity. Somewhere in here, locked away behind "Wife" and "Mom" was "ME", and I was finally starting to realize that I could have fun in my life without having to be a couple.
For twenty years Hubby and I have almost always gone out together, and he was always the social one. He is one of those people that can go out and talk to anyone, and he makes friends fairly easily. I, on the other hand, am the wall flower. I will sit and watch him move around the room, being the social person that he is, while I sit there hoping someone will talk to me. It's usually nice if even Hubby would talk to me. I honestly think he tends to forget I'm there when we go out.
The friends I have today would probably laugh if I told them how shy I really am. I have a hard time making friends. Put me in a beauty salon and throw clients at me all day, and I can talk up a storm. But put me in a social setting, where I don't really know anyone, and I tend to be very reserved, quiet, and hesitant to put myself out there. I really have to get to know someone before I let the real me come out. I guess a lot of that has to do with fear of being rejected. I spent a good deal of my childhood being teased and rejected by people.
Anyway, now that Hubby was beginning to live as king of his own little world, which apparently was excluding me more and more, it forced me to start creating a world of my own. Somewhere between November when Roomy moved in, and January after Hubby left again, I started to become the social butterfly. I mean that in a literal sense, because this process of life changing events I was experiencing was very much like the caterpillar morphing into the butterfly. And now comes life altering event number three...
It was a Saturday night in the middle of January. Roomy and I had plans to go out that night, but for some reason that I don't remember, I was running late getting ready. Roomy decided to head out without me, because I wasn't anywhere near being ready to go out. We agreed that I would take a cab, and meet him at the watering hole later. I specifically called a cab to schedule a pick-up around 8:30 that evening, but the cab company was running really slow that night and didn't actually pick me up until almost 9:45. Boy did that piss me off. Anyway, the cab finally arrived after numerous calls wanting to know where the hell they were, and I finally got to the watering hole around 10:00 pm.
When I got there I was in a rather pissy mood because of the whole cab thing. As I was walking up to the door, ready to go inside and slam down my first drink to ease my frustration, there was Sexy Man standing outside talking on his cell phone.
Sexy Man was one of the original party buddies Hubby and I had been hanging out with, so by this time, hugs were a norm when we'd see each other. When he saw me that night his eyes lit up, and he wrapped his arms around me giving me a big ol' bear hug. I knew he was pretty well on his way to drunkenville, because he didn't want to let go, and that was unusual. I actually had to push myself away from him.
Finally we go inside, and as was also a normal custom at this point, Sexy Man patted the seat next to him for me to sit down. Sexy Man and I have always gotten along really well. We have a lot in common, so finding things to talk about was really easy for us. From the moment we met, I was also attracted to him, thinking he was really sexy (hence the name, Sexy Man), but I never thought to act on it because he was older than me, and we are both married. I always try to be respectful of other people's marriages, and I don't hit on married men as a general rule. He never brought his wife out with him though. I tried many times to talk him into bringing his wife with him when we went out, because I really wanted to meet her, but I always got this look that said, "Yeah, right."
So there we were, a small group of us that night, sitting in our usual spot, drinking, smoking and joking, when all the sudden Sexy Man starts having this one-on-one conversation with me about sex. I couldn't say how the conversation got started, but the next thing I know, he starts asking me how I like oral sex. This whole conversation has taken me by surprise. This is one subject Sexy Man and I have never touched on. But, hey, I'm an open-minded person, so I allowed the conversation to continue. Then he starts using his hands and tongue to mimic the process of oral sex, asking me if I liked it "this way", or "that way". I'm sitting there thinking, 'Holy shit! He's really drunk!' And I'm wondering if anyone else is seeing this? At the same time, I am beginning to get tingles in the nether-region; the visual aid was making me wet to say the least. Then, because he asked, I shared with him my version of a blowjob.
Mind you, I can have conversations about sex without it actually leading to anything. For some reason, people find it really easy to talk about sex with me, so when they do, I never assume it's because they want to have sex with me. I guess it is because I am so open-minded that people find it easy to discuss the topic with me. While I was having this conversation with Sexy Man, I didn't think it was going to lead to anything. (I think I have self-image issues. Even with the amount of partner's I have had over the years, I never really feel like anyone is attracted to me in that way. I never hear the words pretty, beautiful, or sexy used in a sentence referring to me, so I have pretty much concluded that I am nothing special to look at. It sucks to have this knowledge, but there it is.)
So there we were, Sexy Man and me, having this conversation, and it is having a definite affect on my libido. I was getting horny as hell, and if truth be told, I hadn't had any really great sex in a long time, which wasn't helping matters. But still, I wasn't about to suggest anything, for the above mentioned reasons. When push comes to shove (pardon the pun), I have a toy box at home that helps me out in desperate situations, lol! But then it happened - I got up to head to the ladies room, and before I leave, Sexy Man says to me in a really serious tone, "I don't suppose you would be interested...", and before he finishes that sentence, he says, "No, I don't suppose you would." I looked back at him, and in my own serious tone I said, "Yes. I would be interested." The look on his face told me that he was just as surprised by my consent as I was by his proposition. Then I excused myself and went to the ladies room.
[I suppose now would be a good time to mention the fact that Hubby and I have a somewhat open marriage of sorts. It doesn't work for everyone, but for Hubby and me it is a lifestyle that, in the past, has brought more passion into our personal relationship, so it works for us. At least, it used to. I don't know these days, because things have changed a lot between Hubby and me, but I'll talk about that another day.]
When I returned from the restroom, everyone but Sexy Man was leaving to head to another bar. They asked me to come along, but given the recent turn of events, I feigned the excuse that I wasn't feeling well, and I would be going home shortly. Lie, lie, lie! Of course, I had no intentions of going home just yet. I was too eager to see what was going to transpire between me and Sexy Man! This was around midnight.
After everyone left, I walked up to the table where Sexy Man was standing waiting for me. I don't think we said anything to each other at that point. He pulled me close to him, cocked his head to one side, then with that serious look on his face again, he kissed me. It wasn't any small peck either. That kiss was deep, passionate, and oh so very yummy! Can I just say, if all men kissed their women like that on a regular basis, we women would be total putty in your hands all the time! Needless to say, I turned to jell-o! lol My knees actually got weak, and the tingles were now running from head to toe. I have to tell you, at 42 years old, I have NEVER had a man (or woman, for that matter) kiss me like that. Of course, I was kissing him back, feeding off of the energy that was now in high gear between us. It was magical.
After "the kiss", he looked at me with a big smile on his face, and he told me what a good kisser I was (which is something I've never been told before, so I think I actually blushed, lol), and then he commented on how soft my lips are. (I have full lips. Hubby is always saying they are "DSL" lips.) Then Sexy Man kissed me again. Oh my, just thinking about it right now is revving my motor. ~hehe~
For the rest of the night Sexy Man and I proceeded to make out right there in the watering hole. That's another first for me. I have kissed and been kissed in bars, but never like this. Sexy Man and I were like two teenagers who couldn't get enough of each other. We were all over each other, kissing, feeling each other up, teasing each other mercilessly, and pretty much didn't give a shit who was watching. It was like we were the only two in the room, and if the waitress hadn't stopped by to see if we needed another drink, I think we probably could have had sex right then and there. When I think back on it, anyone still in the bar at that time of night got quite a show. I remember glancing over at the manager at one point, and he looked at me with a big grin on his face, lol! But you know what? I didn't care. I was in the midst of one of the most sexually charged moments I ever had, and I wasn't about to let anything stop it. Until, that is, the lights came on.
The bar was closing. It was time to go home. I started to pout, and Sexy Man took me by the hand and led me outside to his car. He said he would give me a ride home, since I had taken a cab that night. Then he placed me in his vehicle, got in himself, started the car to warm it up, and then turned to me and kissed me passionately again. Only this time, it wasn't like two teenagers, it was like a man and a woman, and let me tell you, in that moment things got really hot between us!
Next thing I know, my jeans are off, my shirt is open and my nipples are hard as a rock as he's sucking on them. I was dripping wet between my thighs as his fingers worked their magic. Then he kissed his way down my belly and began expertly using his tongue, until I had the strongest orgasm I have ever had. Meanwhile, I am trying to pleasure him at the same time, but unlike anyone else I've ever been with, he didn't want me to do anything. I never even got his jeans unzipped, let alone off, because he kept pushing my hand away. He wanted me to lay there and receive. That is another first for me. I'm not used to getting all the attention. If anything, I am used to giving, and not getting anything more than a good hard banging until "he" gets off and rolls over.
Whoa! I think I need another drink! *fans herself to cool down*
When it was all over, he smiled and kissed me again. Oh, what a sexy smile that man has! But, OMG! I actually forgot where I was! LOL As I was getting dressed, it hit me that we were still in the parking lot of the watering hole! I must have really been drunk. I have no idea if anyone saw us. I was totally caught up in the pleasure of his attention! May I just add - it was worth every moment! But, alas, it was time to really go home, so Sexy Man drove me to my house, gave me another yummy kiss goodnight, and then left.
I really thought he would want to come in, so that we could maybe move to a part-two of the evening, but he had a wife to go home to, so I didn't push the issue. It totally amazes me though that we didn't actually have intercourse that first night, and I was even more amazed that he was quite content with that. As I watched him leave, I felt like I was on the best high of my life. I went to sleep that night smiling from ear to ear, and I knew I had to see him again.
To be continued...
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