Margarita Time Again! - part 2

If you are just tuning in, you need to check out part 1 - the post entitled "Strawberry Margaritas Anyone???"...

Wow! I didn't realize how much I liked Strawberry Margaritas! lol They are a tasty treat! Yummy!

So where was I? Oh yeah, I was telling you about the night at the pool hall and heading home on Roomy's motorcycle.

Okay, so there we were, hopping on the bikes to head home. I got on Roomy's bike because we were heading to the same place, and Buddy was going to his house. This was around 2:00 a.m...

As we were pulling on to the main road to head home, Roomy and I were side-swiped by a pick-up truck going 60 mph. Mind you, Roomy and I hadn't really started to pick up speed yet. We were only doing about 15 mph when we were hit. O-M-G! You wanna talk about life-altering moments! I'm here to tell you that the Goddess was watching out for us that night! I felt this pick-up truck run straight down the right side of my body, and he was going so fast that I saw him as nothing more than a white blur. (I kept swearing it was white truck, because it was a hit and run, and the police were looking for the guy. But we heard later from the police that it was actually a red truck, and the guy did finally come back.) Thank the Goddess I was wearing my leather jacket that night too, because this guys side-view mirror broke on my back. Somehow though, by the grace of the Gods, I managed to walk away from this ordeal with only bruises. Bad bruises, but only bruises, none-the-less. Roomy, on the other hand, wasn't quite as lucky, but he was still lucky, if you know what I mean. His right ankle was broken in three places, and his pinky was degloved. Ewww! But I'm tellin' you, it could have been a hell of a lot worse! If this guy that hit us had been one inch to the left, I wouldn't be here today to tell you this story. (We found out later the guy that hit us was text messaging while he was driving. Of course, that never came out on any of the reports, and we couldn't prove it. But we got this information from the guy who was in the truck with him that night. What pisses me off is that he blamed the accident on us, saying Roomy's tail-lights weren't working, which was total bullshit, because Roomy's tail lights were still on when the police got there.) Needless to say, we spent the rest of that night, into the morning hours, at the hospital. I got to go home eventually. Roomy had to stay in the hospital for a few days, because he required surgery.

When the accident happened, it happened very quickly. Everything was a big blur. It wasn't until I sat down later and started thinking about it, that it hit me how close I came to losing my life that night. It had a major impact on me. A moment like that really makes you start to appreciate being alive. It put me in "life review" mode, and I realized just how precious life truly is. My life, in particular. (Roomy's life too, of course, but the impact it had on me and how I look at my life now is what I'm trying to get at.) Anyway...

After the accident, I started to rethink how I lived my life. I have lived most of my adult life as a Mom and Wife. I married Hubby when I was 22, and we had Son 5 months later, so my whole adult life up to this point has been focused on them. When the accident happened, I realized that my life mattered just as much as theirs does, and while I feel raising Son was worth every moment, I never really had much focus on myself. If truth be told, I really didn't have my own identity. I was, "his wife", and "his mom", and that was about it. It wasn't until this accident that it dawned on me that I needed to start living for myself. Son was almost all grown up, spreading his wings, and would soon be heading off to college. Hubby wasn't even around anymore. He was 1400 miles away, and while we talked on the phone, and I knew he loved me, he has never really given much thought to what I gave up in my life to be that supportive wife and "always there" mom.

[Speaking of Hubby, at the time of the accident, it had been almost 6 months since I had seen him. The accident happened the beginning of December, and he was due to be home for the holidays three weeks after the accident. He was also none-to-happy to hear about the accident, by the way. His big question was: Why were you with Roomy on the motorcycle? Once I explained, he got over it. I am also happy to report that Roomy is doing much better. He was on crutches for a quite a while, and will be dealing with screws and pins in his ankle for the rest of his life, but he is now back to a somewhat normal healthy state of living.]

Okay, so now I am dealing with this whole life-review thing. I had been living my life with my family being my only priority, and now I was finding I was pretty much on my own. Except for the occasional sighting of my Son, empty conversations with Hubby, and hanging out with Roomy from time to time, I had no one but me. I was really glad that Hubby would be home soon for a visit. I really needed some attention. (You have to remember that by the time Hubby came home, it had been 6 months since I had sex. That sucks!)

Well, about the time I started to feel better from the accident, Hubby finally made it home for the holidays. He was home for a few weeks. In that few weeks, I came to find out that Hubby had gotten fairly self-centered in our time apart. He hadn't been showing a whole lot of interest in what his family was up to when I would talked to him on the phone. He would always change the subject like he wasn't interested. At first I thought maybe it was because of stresses at work. But when he made his trip home, it was like the icing on the cake, because he acted like he really didn't want to be there. He was distant, and unaffectionate. Oh, yes, we did have sex, but it wasn't anything spectacular. He has always been self-centered when it came to sex anyway, so that wasn't any great surprise. What surprised me was his lack of family participation. It seemed like all he wanted to do was sit like a lump in front of the TV. After not being together for six months, I had expected more from him on an intimate level. At the very least, conversation, and maybe some snuggles. But all that was at a minimum.

Between the life-changing moment of the accident, and now Hubby acting like his world was the only one that mattered, I was starting to feel more alone than I ever had. After Hubby left, I decided it was time to start having a life. With the exception of the times I tagged along with Roomy when he was going out, for the most part, I hated going out alone, so I didn't go out. After Hubby left, I decided that was going to change, so I started going out by myself. And that is life changing event number 2.

The first few times I went out alone after Hubby left, I pretty much stayed to myself, mostly because I didn't see anyone I recognized. Finally, one night I ran into some people that Roomy had introduced me to. I didn't really know them all that well, but I sort of jumped into conversation with them, and I learned that I could be social without anyone else having to drag me out. Yay for me! From that moment on, I started becoming my own woman, and because of it, I started making some of the best friends I have ever had in my life. This happened within the two weeks after Hubby left to go back to his duty station - and at the end of the second week, life altering event #3 took place.

Stay tuned...