The Big Day

Yesterday was the big day. I had a few cigarettes left yesterday morning when I woke up, so I had my coffee and smoked to my hearts content before I left for work. I saved one cigarette for the ride to work. When I got to work yesterday, I had a little ceremony to say goodbye to my "friend", and then in the peace and quiet of the morning, I rolled down my car window, lit up, and I enjoyed my last cigarette. It has now been almost 24 hours since I have smoked.

Admittedly, the patch is working for the most part. As far as those evil cigarette cravings go, like the one I had in the hospital, they are few and far between right now. The patch is really helping to cut down that raw-nerve-need to smoke. Unfortunately, it is not going to be the "cure-all" though. I am still having moments - a lot of them - where I just want to light up. Those are more of a psychological thing based on the routine of smoking. Like last night after dinner. I enjoy my after-dinner cigarette, and I really wanted one after dinner last night. I got a little moody because I couldn't have one. This morning is tough too. I love waking up in the morning and having a cigarette with my coffee. That's why I'm blogging right now ... I'm trying to keep my hands busy, lol.

Yesterday at work, as I suspected, it was pretty easy for me. Actually, it was a lot easier than I anticipated. I managed to get through half my day without thinking about going out and having a ciggy. I told myself early in the day that I couldn't watch the clock. Prior to this, I was a serious clock watcher, judging my day by the breaks I took to have a smoke. Amazingly enough, it was slow as shit yesterday at work, and yet the day went by fairly fast. I'm really hoping today will go by fast too.

Don't get me wrong - I was definitely craving a cigarette yesterday at work, but I brought munchies with me, which I utilized to the fullest. It is easy to see how my dad managed to put on so much weight when he quit smoking. There is something about the "hand-to-mouth" action that is very satisfying. Most of the day I munched on cran-raisins or soy nuts, but soy nuts are very filling, so I could only take so many of those, lol. After work last night I went to the grocery store, and I stocked up on healthy munchies, like raw veggies, more dried fruits, low-cal, low-fat snacks, and sugerless gum, which I might add is NOT calorie free, but at least it will keep my jaws busy for a while, LOL! Anything to help these cravings, and reduce the odds of a major weight gain, because I would rather smoke than put on anymore weight. I also stocked up on bottled water. I drank so much water yesterday that I thought I was going to float away, lol.

Okay ... On to day two. Time to get ready for work.
xoxo